True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Resting Places

Arlene runs to a table and apologizes to them, wondering where the hell Sookie is. Jason and Amy enter; she looks more normal than she has so far and he's wearing a very excellent, very tight blue t-shirt. "Intense. All these animals on the wall, it's like a natural history museum." Jason's never noticed them, much less given an unending undergrad disquisition on their semiotics: "How could you not? Every one of these animals lived a life full of experiences that we can't even imagine..." So is that bad? If she's weirded out by Merlotte's, they can go somewhere else, but that's not it. "Everyone has to eat, right? We're all links on the universal food chain." She points at the animals over the bar, including the brand-new gator head. "See? Squirrel eats nuts, snake eats the squirrel, gator eats the snake. And we can eat pretty much eat anything we want. It's the circle of life!" Instead of dumping her faster than you can blink, he's totally amazed and says he wants to "lick her mind." Give him time. He just found out about thinking like an hour ago.

The shot tracks to the counter, where Terry's got an order up, and then around to the back, where Sookie's running in. You can see the sparks along her skin: the easy answers swirling in her head. It all makes sense now; needs met, never alone again, born out of grave dirt. Sam expresses his deepest sympathies for the horrible sad tragedy of Bill's total death, and she's like, "OH, THINGS ARE AWESOME! BILL'S ALIVE! THEY SAID FOUR BODIES! AND I THOUGHT BILL WAS ONE OF THEM! BUT HE WASN'T! NOT AT ALL! IN FACT HE'S COMPLETELY AWESOME!" Sam is crestfallen, to say the least. My patience with Sam Merlotte is waning. "That must be quite a relief for you," he responds lamely, and she's like "YOU HAVE NO IDEA! ANYWAYS NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME! BECAUSE I AM GREAT! GREATGREATGREATGREAT!" She bounces between the ceiling and the floor about sixty billion times and then goes zooming off in another direction; he is bewildered and more than a little sad.

Arlene bugs her about her tardiness, but Sookie just gives her another one of those spooky-eyed lovefest caresses and screams, "YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL TODAY! I LOVE YOU! EVEN IF YOU ARE A BIGOT! SOMETIMES!" Arlene asks Sam WTF and he's like, "Oh, Bill unfortunately didn't die-die like we thought." Terry, frustrated and edgy, calls the order up for the third time, but Sookie is too busy completely freaking out Hoyt and Rene. "HE GOT MY MESSAGE THAT SOMETHING BAD MIGHT BE BREWING! SO HE FIGURED HE'D SPEND THE NIGHT IN THE GRAVEYARD!" Hoyt, sweetly, asks if he didn't get cold, and Sookie gets twice as fucking weird. "NO! HE WAS IN THE GROUND!" Also, nobody asked for this charming story, Sookie. This shit is why people think you are retarded.

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True Blood

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