True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B
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Resting Places

"The Fourth Man In The Fire," by Johnny Cash, starts playing on Jason's radio as they wait for Lafayette to leave Eddie's; Amy plays crazily with her hair. The song's about salvation; about the thing that's with you even when you're being destroyed, that reminds you to come home. They forgot that. It was a flash flood. They watch him drive away, and Amy starts going through her purse. She wraps the silver lariat around her neck, and Jason asks what her plan is: will they buy the man's blood? "Just remember your lines, that's all I need from you. I'll handle the rest." Jason's all, I am going to end up having gay sex tonight, I just know it and Amy's like, shut up. "I know you probably don't think I'm all that smart, but I do know that that vampire can kill us both before we even get in the door." She breathes, grossed out; she breathes out fear and breathes in the hunt. Jason looks down in her purse, and sees the new weapon inside, jumping in horror. This is premeditated. Get out of there, Stackhouse.

Eddie watches, rapt, as Reverend Newlin speaks. His hair is John Edwards shiny, his looks are Congressional Page immaculate. I kind of want to take a bite out of him, and I'm not even a vampire. His father died a few weeks ago, if you'll remember, after advocating his hate agenda a little too loudly with Nan whats-her-face, in a horrible car accident in Dallas. "...While the wing nuts on the left keep pushing their so-called Vampire Rights legislation, I'm more concerned with basic Human rights. The right for our sons and daughters to go to school without fear of molestation by a bloodthirsty predator, in the playground or in the classroom." Eddie rolls his eyes, but keeps them on Newlin, hungrily. "Someone has got to take a stand for public safety over permissiveness and immorality!" Ask yourself what's on the nose here: the use of the rhetoric, or the rhetoric itself? Something has to be said a bajillion times, no matter how retarded it is, before it becomes a cliché in the first place.

The host of the show Eddie's watching laughs at the clip: "If you ask me, he's protesting a little too hard," she says, and Eddie laughs. "Come out of the closet, Reverend Steve! I know plenty of friendly vampires who'd like to take a bite out of you." Eddie bites his lip, running hands across his skin. "Oh, but truly, it's inflammatory talk from folks like Steve Newlin who make me ashamed to call myself a human," she says, as the hilarious, campy, sad cable-access organ music starts up. "Thanks for watching, we'll be bite back!" See, when everybody has their own channel you get some shitty programming, but I don't even want to get started on that one because wow does that rant get offensive real fast.

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True Blood

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