Sam: "College is a very exciting time in a young person's life."
Bill: "What the fuck are you even talking about?"
Lilith: "A tyrant is rising. It is the beginning of the end. You must complete my work."
Bill: "Can I get like one proper noun in this bitch?"
Lilith: "You proved yourself worthy when you won the battle for my blood."
Bill: "Am I God?"
Lilith: "God made me as vampire, and Adam and Eve as human. I am worshiped as a God -- as some may come to worship you as a God -- but there is no God but God."
Bill: "...And Mohammad is His prophet. WTF are we even doing."
Jessica: "Bill, since you're still in a coma I thought maybe you should have some lunch. Since in this season we can just stay awake all day like it's no big deal, and all."
Veronica: "Hey, y'all! I'm Veronica, I'm like a hooker but with blood."
Jessica: "You aren't for me, you're for my Dad. He's over there being in a coma."
Veronica: "You know what this reminds me of is Hugh Hefner back when I was a regular whore. Let's prop him up and see if we can get something going."
Jessica: "Bill, please eat though, okay?"
Bill's autonomous nervous system maybe -- I think it's a Holy Trinity situation and Wild-Animal Bill is one-third of the whole, like Lilith is the Father and Bill is the Son and this Wild Thing is the Holy Ghost equivalent, but of being a vampire; it's important to say that I have no evidence for this belief whatsoever -- suddenly goes bloodbender on the hooker, and breaks her bones walking her around to where his sightless eyes can see her, and then telekinesises her into a crumpled Capri Sun of a lady, and all the blood of her body shoots out of her and into his mouth. It's tidy, for everybody but Veronica; even the flexible and compassionate Jessica is freaked the fuck out by this murderous display.
Dear Bill Compton, please come out of your coma. I know that Anne Rice decided that vampires just sitting there doing nothing is a very interesting and scary thing for vampires to do, but guess what: Anne Rice is a crazy mess of a person. So.
SOOKIE & BEN
Sookie: "Our skin sparkles and sparks when we touch each other, isn't that awesome and weird and super gay?"