True Blood
The Sun

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 10 USERS: B+
The Sparks That Light Your Skin Up


Eric konks a nerdy flack from the Department of Wildlife and Fisheries, who has a (nighttime?) meeting with the Gov, and even though they are opposite sizes and shapes, he steals his clothes for a nerdy disguise, including glasses! Get it, because Eric. I mean, I guess I can see why this is funny, I just don't care anymore. He lulls the Governor into talking to him about whooping cranes:

Governor: "You'll forgive me for not having read your proposal, but I have been consumed with this vampire business."
Eric: "Good job with that, by the way. Takes a man of real vision to take a stand."
Governor: "[Instant racism, once given the go-ahead.]"

There is a story, which does kinda sound true, about some kids that got turned at a pizza joint and went home and killed their parents, told with the sort of horror you might hear in a story about how Gloreen's nephew has started wearing his pants so low you can see his underwears, and Eric's finally had it.

Eric: "Guess they were just trying to survive, those little baby vampires. Just like the whooping crane..."
Burrell: "Right but if whooping cranes posed an actual threat to the populace, we'd have to wipe 'em out. Right?"
Eric: "You could try. But they have been known to defend their territory. They charge their attackers..."
Burrell: "Still. No match for a hunter! But anyway, you're acting super creepy and aggressive about this so why don't we wrap it up."

Eric leans way over the desk and glamours him, having worked his way closer all this time: "Oh, I'll tell you what you can do, you sanctimonious sack of shit. You will stop your persecution of vampires. You will rescind your order to shut down vampire-run businesses. And you will prosecute all human-on-vampire crime to the fullest extent of the law. As a matter of fact, you now love all vampires..."

But guess what, he's wearing magic contact lenses that keep you from getting glamoured, so he summons guards and laughs at Eric getting silvered, and explains again about the sun bullets, and points out how dumb the Authority was for blowing up their government liaisons and TruBlood factories and governing body in quick succession, and he tells his guards -- note, because he only says it once -- to take Eric to "the Camp." (Which again, equating minorities is the most privileged possible thing you can do, so gross me out already, but I admit it makes sense with the worldbuilding -- but also most of all, I hope that Sarah Newlin is the Kommandant of the Camp so we can call it Camp Anna Camp, or even better, Anna Camp Camp.)

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15Next

True Blood




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP