True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A
Someone Else's Apocalypse

Steve finally stands up straight, with a whole speech about who is going to heaven and who's going to hell, and Jason -- with the attitude of the truly disappointed and bitter -- squares his shoulders and looks directly into his eyes: "I reckon I've already been to heaven. It was inside your wife." He is proud, and happy, to have the burden lifted. Steve's shocked, and he punches him, throwing the honesty ring in his face with a lot of trashtalking. They leave -- Jason, Sookie, Bill, this strange little family -- and Steve holds tight to Jason's ring, all alone.

Sam sits at the bar with Kenya and Bud, trying to figure out how they showed up at the same time he did. It's obviously a setup, but Bud won't tell him who the anonymous caller was, and Kenya points out that he was known to be dating Daphne. They jump on him when he admits they broke up, but he's not about to tell them the details there because it would make him look Andy amounts of crazy, so they start drawing the picture for him. It's pretty convincing: second lady in two weeks to turn up on his property with her heart carved out, for starters. Bud mentions how his waitresses tend to end up dead, and Sam whines that they already caught that killer. "Come on! Bud, Kenya, listen to yourselves. You know me..." he says, but Bud points out that Sam has no history and no paper trail, due to having come into town in the form of an adorable dog with a giant bag of cash.

Just when you are wondering how Sam's going to wriggle out of that one for the fiftieth time, Andy Bellefleur shows up to make sure he doesn't. He tries to defend Sam, having held onto his police radio and knowing that they were investigating him, but just makes everything sound ten times worse. And funnier! "Sam's not the one you want. He's a victim. I saw him nearly get killed last night." By who? "The bull!" (Bud explains about how Andy is crazy and keeps talking about bulls.) "With claws! A bull! In a dress, with claws!" Bud's like, "...And we're done," but Kenya -- after I'm sure years of Andy being his former dickhead self -- is more than willing to take him down just in case.

"And your vic, that vic you got in there? She was part of the whole group of crazy people that was trying to get him. I tried to fight them off, but..." He holds up his giantly casted arm. "War wound! I'm corroborating here, Sam. Tell them. Help me!" Sam points out that if Sam were telling him this story, Andy would probably punch his face in, and whatever you think Andy looks like when he makes that sad face, it's like twice that sad, because he knows how crazy and unhelpful he's being, but he still can't help himself.

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True Blood




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