SOOKIE

Lafayette: "I wonder if the dirt is going to do something."
Dirt: Does nothing. It is some riveting television.
Sookie: "Maybe, though. Let's just sit tight."
Dirt: "You do that."

WOLVES

Sam: "Okay, here's the body of that guy I keep saying I killed."
Alcide: "Let Sam go. He's just being a jackass."
Sam: "Luna! I can't believe you tattled! I was this close to being brutally murdered for absolutely no reason, and you ruined it."
Luna: "Whatever. Just put some clothes on."
Weres: "Alcide killed the Packmaster? Then we must bow to him!"
Martha: "Don't do that, you guys. We have to have a lot of meetings about it first. Somebody's gotta take minutes, and you have to second the motion, and all kinds of shit. Just like in nature."
Weres: "Will there be refreshments after?"
Martha: "My bad, I forgot. There will be refreshments ... now!"

Then she starts eating her son's corpse. Everybody joins in. It is so naughty! So wild and unapologetically edgy! This ain't TV, motherfucker, it is the real shit! The H to the B to the O. That's right, holla! There's some B.O. in the Hizzy tonight! Stankin' it up witcha brother/sister incest and chowin' down on some gross poor people for us to point and laugh at, what what! It's like a Coen Brothers movie up in here, with all these hilarious trashy people! Oh, it is getting entrailed to shit tonight and no mistake! Where my werepanthers at, bitches? Wipe that crap off your dirty Appalachian kids' faces and get in on this!

AUTHORITY

Nora: "I'm handing you over to Anybody Who Isn't Me, which brightens up the future considerably. Bill, you're now named Marcellus Clarke, after a famous Confederate guerilla. Eric, your new name is Ike Applebaum, because the rest of the cast has nicknamed your ubiquitous penis 'Ikea' for some reason. Hopefully not because it arrives disassembled. Now, are you ready to start your new lives?"