Bill: "Eric, why are you making out with that horrible woman?"
Eric: "Because she is my sister! Does that impress you with how far-out and wild it is?"
Bill: "When did this show become Yahoo! Answers?"
Eric: "We are so naughty!"
Bill: "Yes, yes. You are very naughty."
Sookie: "Okay, put the big pieces of Debbie in this shower curtain. I'll mop up the smaller pieces of Debbie and Tara."
Lafayette: "You've got a whole Dexter deal going on right now, unless it's a faerie thing. Mostly, I'm concerned -- like everyone else in this town, even though fantastically awful shit happens to all of us regularly -- about your welfare."
Sookie: "Well, I'm certainly not going to the police about this justifiable homicide where the bitch -- a known murderer that we've personally seen murder people -- broke into my house with a gun, high on drugs."
Lafayette: "I see your point. Wait, no I don't. Isn't being white a Get Out Of Jail Free card?"
Sookie: "No, that's just something white people like to joke about because it lets them think racist things while feeling less racist for joking about them. It's not really true."
Lafayette: "Yes, that's very interesting. But part of the rule of law is that you have to abide by them, for your own protection. It was self-defense..."
Sookie: "There was a moment where -- apparently -- I had the upper hand on that crack-fueled werewolf, and easily could have just picked her up off the floor and made her some tea without any repercussions. Instead, I blew the bitch's face off. Therefore, it was not self-defense."
Lafayette: "Maybe that was a faerie thing? But anyway, that's not even how the law works. According to your whim. Use your head please, madam. Because now it's just one more thing for you to feel angsty and paranoid about for no real reason."
Sookie: "I will never have enough of those."
Nora: "It was just the luck of the draw that I was part of the extraction team that kidnapped you guys. But a very lucky luck it was."
Bill: "Doesn't the Authority keep track of this shit? I'm fairly certain they would know that they were sending Eric's sister to kidnap him."
Eric: "Apparently that documentation is no longer relevant now that Godric died."
Bill: "Well, sure. That checks out."
Nora: "Let's interrupt this conversation to make out some more."
Eric: "Yeah! Fuck Sookie."