Lafayette: "Are you there, Jesus? It's me, Lafayette."
Jesus: "Not in this episode, sorry."
Lafayette: "[Flips out a little bit. I guess it's somewhat sad, but I don't know. It just seemed very unsubtle. This episode is like fan fiction of the show, instead of the show.]"
Lives in a shoebox motel room or trailer or something. Whatever it is, it's horrible. I think she and her two boys live in the living room. Oh wait, they were victims of the Bellefleur fire, that's why they're in this crappy place. Whew, I was going to be really sad for her and her whole face thing she's got going on.
Boys: "We are back from hunting with our dad! Why are you in bed with the sheriff's surprisingly valid naked body?"
Holly: "Yes, my beautiful witch-babies. It is compact, is it not? Hides a wealth of complications when guys are built like that. Anyway, sorry you walked in on us after doing it, but that's how it works when you all live in a living room."
Boys: "You're kind of an alcoholic, we think. Based on all this evidence of that fact."
Holly: "The plight of the single mother!"
Arlene's Kids: "We love talking to Scott Foley!"
Terry: "It makes me uncomfortable to talk to Scott Foley. Here, have a variety of insane faces that don't really communicate much of what's going on with me."
Scott Foley: "All I know is, the cold-blooded killing machine I murdered Iraqis with is not at all the same shellshocked individual living in luxury that I see before me."
Terry: "We are actually still poor trash, we're just staying at the Bellefleur mansion until... The situation changes."
Scott Foley: "Was this by any chance because of a mysterious housefire?"
Terry: "...More lunatic faces, Scott Foley?"
Scott Foley: "Don't mind if I do, thanks."
Sookie Stackhouse was left out of all the reindeer games as a child, you see, because of her obnoxious personality. But then somebody showed up with an even worse personality, which made her feel better about herself... And then when she found out that her violent buddy's mother was a monstrous abusive addict, she knew: She'd be friends with Tara for the rest of her life. Unless she met a person in a wheelchair, or with like half a face.