True Blood
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Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | 17 USERS: B+
I Love You Jason Stackhouse


Patrick is Scott Foley. Patrick. Patrick. Got it.

Patrick: "Terry, I have been looking everywhere for you! Because of secrets!"
Terry: "I am too close to freaking out all the time to talk to you about things."
Patrick: "Well, a bunch of our fellow Marines also had a housefire, including me."
Terry: "I am pretty sure that's a coincidence, because my housefire was due to this ghost lady that was haunting my kid... Oh wait, she saved us all from the fire. Gotcha. You're right, this is unrelated."
Patrick: "Anyway, you're probably going to die."
Terry: "Not if I beat you up right now!"
Patrick: "I fail! To see! The logic in that! Ow!"


Jason: "This has been fun, but I think we should talk about our relationship."
Jessica: "Really? Because I am in the middle of macking on this dude."
Jason: "Fine, then I will pick the low-hanging fruit that has been all over me all night. See how you like that."
Jessica: "I like it just fine. Remember when Pam talked me into being an Ethical Slut? Well I am still trying that out, like any teenager on the verge of adulthood."
Jason: "Then fine, I am going to go screw this chick in my car. Instead of any of the rooms in this mansion where nerdy college kids are already doing it."
Jessica: "Fine! I will screw this person in every room in the mansion!"

So who is the Ruler of Louisiana right now? The Authority depowered King Bill last year, that was how Nan died... Earlier when Jessica chased Newlin away, she said not only was she older than him, and way more heteronormative, but also that she was Queen. Is that true? That's awesome if that's true. I hope that becomes an issue.


Sorority Girl: "Front or back?"
Jason: "Neither. I respect your personhood."
Sorority Girl: "That's nice, but I actually have the agency to decide if I want to fuck you, and I've kinda already made that call -- made it hours ago, pretty blatantly -- so at this point making my choices for me is a pretty shitty move."
Jason: "I'm not sure that's how it works. I'm pretty sure treating you like a fragile sex object is a sign of my growth."
Sorority Girl: "Okay, well, there are two of us in this car. So trying not to insult me is pretty insulting -- when I'm sitting here in your car, with my top off -- because basically you're calling me a whore."

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True Blood




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