True Blood
Turn! Turn! Turn!

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | 17 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
I Love You Jason Stackhouse

The Authority immediately, and once again, parachutes in and rappels down and submerges (supermerges?) up out of the water and all the different GI Joe ways of doing this, they do it. I sure hope they kill Nora with a headshot... Nope, once they've dispatched the woman of color we were just talking to, they kidnap Nora too. So she's along for the fuckin' ride now, great.

No, you know though, maybe that's okay. I bet she's really like, resourceful and has a bunch of tricks up her sleeve, to use while simply refusing to put up with Eric's high-handed ways or Bill's stodginess. I don't know, just a feeling that might be the case, with our dear Nora. Good old capable, sassy, no-nonsense, irreverent, cool-under-pressure, likeable, realistic, shoved-the-fuck-down-your-throat Nora Gainsborough.

She fights like a sibling, you see. But she fucks like a champion.

SOOKIE

Lafayette: "I'm going to go get us some people food. Which practically guarantees that whatever happens is going to happen. Just like lighting a cigarette at the bus stop, as a trashy werewolf would say."

Pam: "Dude, there is dirt in my bra."
Sookie: "Did it work?"
Pam: "I don't fuckin' know."

Did it work? No. No. No... Wait, yes. Yes it did. Imagine what a fun challenge for the writers' room this year, to come up with ways to humiliate and degrade Tara now that she's also a superhero. Maybe she'll get gangraped by werewolves? Become Russ Edgington's willing black female slave? Both of those would be real edgy and unexpected. Maybe she's going to be a lesbian again this year, and she and Pam can argue about which one is more femme and camera-ready. Maybe she can wrestle Jessica in a baby pool full of pudding for Jason Stackhouse's dick. Maybe she will stake Steve Newlin, or he will stake her, and we'll be treated to the next level of whatever escalating bullshit this show seems to have decided on pursuing.

Vampire Tara, standing over Sookie: "I am about to do everyone a huuuuuge favor."
Sookie: "Don't do it! People only do favors for me! Not to me!"

...Oh wait, no. Maybe she'll just be Bubba. Mentally slow, illiterate and ill-spoken, eating cats, used mostly as a human paperweight. Maybe that's how this will go. I sure hope so. That would really be neat and challenging. I mean, weren't the worst things about Tara her intelligence and verbal skills? Wasn't it terrible knowing that one person on this entire show actually read a book once in a while? I sure hope they take care of that for us.

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True Blood

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