True Blood
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Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | 17 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
I Love You Jason Stackhouse

Bill: "Hang on, I have to blow up this entire car that we are inside of."
Eric: "That seems like a sensible plan, yes. I will help."

Eric: "Thank goodness we survived that explosion of fire all around us!"
Nora: "Me too! I was in the front seat, playing an elaborate double-crossing game that makes no sense, where you get kidnapped every five minutes for the rest of this episode. By the way, I'm Nora. I am the Worst."

Bill: "Eric, why are you making out with that horrible woman?"
Eric: "Because she is my sister! Does that impress you with how far-out and wild it is?"
Bill: "When did this show become Yahoo! Answers?"
Eric: "We are so naughty!"
Bill: "Yes, yes. You are very naughty."

SOOKIE

Sookie: "Okay, put the big pieces of Debbie in this shower curtain. I'll mop up the smaller pieces of Debbie and Tara."
Lafayette: "You've got a whole Dexter deal going on right now, unless it's a faerie thing. Mostly, I'm concerned -- like everyone else in this town, even though fantastically awful shit happens to all of us regularly -- about your welfare."
Sookie: "Well, I'm certainly not going to the police about this justifiable homicide where the bitch -- a known murderer that we've personally seen murder people -- broke into my house with a gun, high on drugs."
Lafayette: "I see your point. Wait, no I don't. Isn't being white a Get Out Of Jail Free card?"
Sookie: "No, that's just something white people like to joke about because it lets them think racist things while feeling less racist for joking about them. It's not really true."
Lafayette: "Yes, that's very interesting. But part of the rule of law is that you have to abide by them, for your own protection. It was self-defense..."
Sookie: "There was a moment where -- apparently -- I had the upper hand on that crack-fueled werewolf, and easily could have just picked her up off the floor and made her some tea without any repercussions. Instead, I blew the bitch's face off. Therefore, it was not self-defense."
Lafayette: "Maybe that was a faerie thing? But anyway, that's not even how the law works. According to your whim. Use your head please, madam. Because now it's just one more thing for you to feel angsty and paranoid about for no real reason."

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True Blood

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