True Blood
Turn! Turn! Turn!

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | 17 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
I Love You Jason Stackhouse

Andy: "I don't know why either!"

My hang-lows were tickled, in turn, by that. Since that's apparently a thing that people say.

Hoyt: "Ya dang girlfriend fucker. How's it going, girlfriend fucker?"
Construction Buddies: Giggle, as though that's a huge burn on Jason.
Jason: "I'm not sure you understand how name-calling works."
Hoyt: "I've never been in a position to bully before. I will grant you I am still working out the kinks. The important thing is that I dumped my girlfriend in a really gross, shameful, abusive way, and then whatever happened next was none of my damn business."

Jason: "Well, I just wanted to say that I love you, and I'm sorry that I keep fucking your girlfriend. But I hope you won't be mad."
Hoyt: "I am sorry to disappoint you, girlfriend fucker."
Jason: "See, that still doesn't... Whatever. Bye."
Hoyt: "Bye, girlfriend fucker!"
Construction Buddy: "Good one, man. That was some tight ranking."
Hoyt: "But will these verbal triumphs ever add up to a parcel of happiness?"

SOOKIE

Sookie: "Perhaps they should have killed Russell. I'm beginning to see your point."
Alcide: "Come stay with me. I will protect you."
Sookie: "That goes against my code of always fucking myself over and trying to get murdered at all times. I cannot."
Alcide: "Is this about how I said I was in love with you? Because..."
Sookie: "No, it's just super awkward because I murdered your girrrrr..."
Lafayette: "-- No, girl. No."

Lafayette: "Get out of our house!"
Alcide: "Why are you being so mean, you guys?"
Sookie: "It is a secret."
Lafayette: "We have decided to join MOO and we don't like werewolves or witches or vampires or Maryanns or magic fingers or any of that anymore. Even though we are also those things."
Alcide: "You're being really hurtful."
Lafayette: "GET OUT!"

Lafayette: "Did you just ... growl in my face? That is seriously the hottest thing that has ever happened on this show."
Alcide: "I will do it again, too."
Lafayette: "I mean... No, no. Focus Missy, try to maintain. Wolf, get the fuck on up out of here."
Alcide: "Fine. I will leave. But I won't stop being super nice. And I won't stop offering you my house, or my protection, or any of the things that you always say no to, for no reason, even though all of your other boyfriends are kidnapped, and you were mean to them too, and you are now without recourse. I guess that's just how it's going to be. That's the line I'm drawing. No takebacks."

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True Blood

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