True Blood
True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 539 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
They Stuck Me Together With Glue

Bon Temps: "We psychically judge you, Sookie Stackhouse, for turning Tara into a vampire. If only you had let her die."

Sookie: "Abjuring my vampire boyfriends has had the consequence of turning back the clock to when I was the village idiot. Remember? How I was so attracted to Bill because of the mental silence, and it gave me the confidence to become a real person over the last four seasons? This is a legitimate idea. My storyline this season would benefit from some subtlety, but it's all pretty good ideas."

Lafayette is outside just chilling when suddenly he sprouts Demon Face and curses her car to murder her later. He says "Santa Muerte," which is dumb and hopefully won't come back up.

PELTS MOTEL

Alcide: "So, I know you really cared about your daughter despite not having seen her the whole time she was a crackhead in Mississippi or when she came to Shreveport and went back to being a crackhead."
Pelts: "Yes. Like most Baby Boomers, we are concerned almost entirely with ourselves."
Alcide: "Okay, well, then you'll probably appreciate getting let off the hook by me telling you that she is dead as shit."
Pelts: "Did you kill her? Do we have to wolf out now?"
Alcide: "No, just enjoy your cocktails. It was Marcus Bozeman, her boyfriend and our Packmaster, who promised to give her wolf babies while they did drugs together. He is dead now. Also his mom ate him."
Pelts: "Okay, thanks for letting us know!"
Alcide: "Are you guys going to be okay?"
Mrs. Pelt: "Yeah, actually we were just in town to buy an RV. We're gonna see Yellowstone!"
Mr. Pelt: "I've earned this, by God."

SOOKIE

Nearly is killed by her haunted car, but then escapes at the last minute and leaves the wreckage behind so she can get cruuuuunnnnnnk. Now, you know I really enjoy Miss Sookie Stackhouse and often try to see things from her point of view, but I think from this point forward in the episode, Sookie becomes somebody we can all identify with.

ELLER

You know how we assumed the Terry storyline this year was something along the lines of "Iraqi My Lai"? Yeah, so that happened. Guys pissing on a mosque while singing -- no lie -- "Born On The Fourth Of July," accidental shooting, snowballing coverup, village burned down, screaming children, whatever. Whatever you're imagining, down to the shaky-cam way it's filmed, all of it.

True Blood

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