Sookie: "So listen, just because I have to poke this bruise one more time, why are you here being a sexy man-mountain I can climb all over, when I shot your girlfriend in the face?"
Alcide: "I'm sort of at a loss."
Sookie: "Drink your drink!"
Alcide: "No, it's bad and gross."
Sookie: "But I made it for you!"
Alcide: "I don't care."
Sookie: "You will do anything for me."
Alcide: "Even drink this nasty drink? No."
Sookie: "Yeah, you will. You're in love with me."
Too real. Even my friend Erik was like, "This just got too real." But of course Alcide denies, and of course she climbs him, and of course it is wonderful. I mean, it's screamingly awkward because it's Sookie, but that's still so amazing. You can't go backwards, like, once she got the confidence of Bill's Silence, and Eric's Amnesia, it's not like she could just go back to being quiet Sookie Stackhouse who is afraid of dating because men are gross on their insides. It's just not that simple. So now for the first time she's seeing the boundaries of the world. Like Jessica has, over the years, or like Tara's starting to: How much of those boundaries, you learn, were secretly put in place by nobody but you.
Eric: "I mean, I guess we should have called first."
Bill: "Jessica said she was having a rough time."
Eric: "More like rough trade. Anyway, since Sookie's busy can we go back to looking for Russell?"
Bill: "Ah cannot believe you are not on board with this. This is like 90 percent of what Ah used to do, just hang out in this yard watching her go about her business."
Eric: "You keep forgetting that I got my personality back. In fact, do I even remember the whole time I was with her? I mean, we fell in love around that same time and we're still bros, so..."
Bill: "Ah suppose it will be explained at a later date, Sherriff Northman. Now, what do you think about using our former girlfriend as bait?"
Eric: "Whoa, when did you turn into me? That was crazy hot."
FAERIE STRIP CLUB
Jason: "Yes. This is a very sensual lapdance. I am very into it."
Fae Stripper: "No, you're thinking of a vampire..."
Jason: "And now I'm thinking of my sister. Are you psychic? Is this some kind of horrible Sookie-themed cabaret?"