Chancellor Dieter: "Except it still looks like we're cool with insubordination by royalty..."
Chancellor Barb: "I'm with Dieter! I support the death penalty as a deterrent, despite all evidence to the contrary! Because I am from Texas!"
Guardian Meloni: "No, you're just politically cutthroat."
Chancellor Barb: "I support assimilation, just like my Maker!"
Guardian: "Without people fucking in the background, worldbuilding like this can be kind of confusing and boring. Especially for people that mainly are here to see Eric and Alcide with no pants on."
Turns out Edgington's a Sanguinista martyr because of his amazing spine-ripping statement against assimilation, which he did for different reasons but in their same language, so now he's the bin Laden.
Guardian: "I just want my agenda to be preserved from this kind of thing, so I'm these boys' de facto main ally. Take them away, and [verbatim] send in the new Nan Flanagan."
Be Steve Newlin be Steve Newlin be Steve Newlin
Steve Newlin: "Bam! My whole storyline just got awesome."
Sookie: "Pam, stop obsessively vamp-zoom texting and do me some favors!"
Pam: "Fuck off, I already spent like ten minutes helping you when I could have been on this futile and obsessive quest to get a response from Eric. Jessica says they're on a business trip, but you and I both know the only thing either of them ever do on this show is about saving your dumb ass."
Sookie: "I broke up with them! Your argument is invalid!"
Pam: "Okay, well, in any case please go away."
Sookie: "I can't do that. I must stomp and demand, you know how I roll. Now just summon Tara as her Maker. Honestly, it's not that much to ask."
Pam: "That's true. But suck my dick nonetheless."
They fight. Pam tosses her ass all around, and then Sookie hand-blasts her with faerie powers, and then Pam yells at all the people in Fangtasia! and it's pathetic and sad. Pam is really getting it in the teeth this year. And considering her Maker is now on a literal suicide mission, it's to be presumed it's only going to get worse.