True Blood
True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 513 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
That Darn Salome!

Expectations: Lowered all around.

GROSS JASON STUFF

Jason: "Whoa, returning to the origin of my sexual dysfunction did not make me feel better!"
Anna Draper: "I deserve nothing in this life. Women are always such sexual predators all the time, it's simply unconscionable. Women and gay dudes, watch out for them."
Jason: "Okay, I have to go be disgusted with myself now."
Anna Draper: "I probably should have told you that victims of sexual assault never heal and will always be walking wounds, spreading the taint of their abuse, until they either commit suicide or become sex workers. Those are the only options for people in your situation."
Jason: "Man, if you'd told me that I never would have gotten molested by you! What a freakin' bummer."

COMPTON & SALOME

Bill: "So wait, are you the real Salome? Like from the Human Bible?"
Salome: "I was the subject of a sexist rewriting of history. My mother whored me out to John the Baptist because he got political about her divorcée status. It was weird."
Bill: "So why are you all over my ass right now?"
Salome: "Pay no attention to my transparent agenda! Now we are fucking!"
Bill: "Okay, I will fuck you. But Ah am not quite the idiot that you think Ah am."
Salome: "We'll see about that, I guess."

TRACY'S TOGS (NÉE TARA'S TOGS)

Tracy, presumably: "Jessica, you look great in that dress! I'm just so happy I keep vampire hours now, you people spend money like crazy."
Jessica: "Thanks! I like shopping."
Tracy: "Hey listen, are you fucking Jason Stackhouse? Because he is bad news. I think it has to do with him being permanently ruined by sexual assault as a youngster."
Jessica: "Or else you're just trying to make me feel shitty by implying that you slept with him."
Tracy: "Or that. Mostly I just wanted the thrill of playing Mean Girl bullshit games on a vampire that could kill me at any time."
Jessica: "Well, I'm a little old for that high school shit, but at least you pissed me off by talking shit about my friend."
Tracy: "I guess that's something."
Jessica: "It doesn't take much to feel validated when you're a bitch, huh? Now wrap up my purchases."

True Blood

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