True Blood
True Blood

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 513 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
That Darn Salome!

Claude 2.0: "Can I get those garter belts I ordered for my sixteen faerie sisters?"
Jessica: "YOU SMELL DELICIOUS!"

Jess comes running out, Claude flees, and she chases him all the way to the place where the real world fades into Faerieland. Her joy is delirious and beautiful. She does a little dance, just smelling the smells of faerie, until it fades. Something new in the world!

FANGTASIA!

Pam: "Is that Hoyt Fortenberry I see? Dressed like a pretend-bisexual goth from the '90s? Why are you here fangbanging, aren't you Jessica's?"
Hoyt: "Have you ever heard of a man named Riley Finn?"
Pam: "Look, far be it from me, but you've got the eyeliner working, and this fog of desperation... I think it will not go well for you in my club."
Hoyt: "I just want to bang some fangs, ma'am. If that ends up killing me or Gingerfying my brain, well, I am already halfway to crazy as it is."
Pam: "That reminds me of that flashback I keep having."

SF 1905

Pamela: "That was some good sex. How about you turn me into a vampire so I can have magic powers and not be subject to the cruel iniquities of gender?"
Eric: "Seems like being a ho is pretty fun."
Pamela: "It is not it's all cracked up to be. Come on, whattaya say?"
Eric: "I'm not ready for parenthood."
Pamela: "So just do it and skedaddle. I'll pick it up as I go along. I'm a survivor."
Eric: "Doesn't work like that. It's more like marriage, forever."
Pamela: "I got an idea. Hold that thought."

She cuts her shit open and starts shooting blood everywhere, which even Eric finds unsettling. So I guess the whole stalker-obsession deal she's always had with old Eric isn't entirely a Maker thing after all, huh?

NORTHMAN & SALOME

Salome: "Stop being all respectful, I know you think everything is stupid."
Eric: "I usually keep that a secret."
Salome: "Hey, did you know I know that Nora's your sister?"
Eric: "No, but that opens up about ten other cans of worms."
Salome: "Godric was really fantastic, wasn't he? Until he took mainstreaming too far and then committed suicide that time."
Eric: "That was the best episode, even now."
Salome: "He loved you the most."
Eric: "Few things would actually get to me, but that does. Which is especially touching considering how blatant you are being."

True Blood

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