True Blood
Who Are You, Really?

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: D | 8 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Nobody Is In Charge & Everything Is On Fire

For a minute, everybody yells about who they are most worried about -- Jason's worried about Sookie, Pam's worried about Eric -- but then Sookie and Eric jump in the truck and they stare at crazy Bill for a while before driving very quickly away. Nora has said the word "bloody" only once so far, so we're doing good.

THE GETAWAY

Tara: "I don't think he's following us..."
Jason: "Unless he's flying over our heads like a naked evil Superman."
Sookie & Eric: "He clearly let us go. We're cool for now."
Nora: "[Something about Lilith just so we remember oh yeah, she's the one that talks about Lilith pretty much all the time.]"

Louisiana Governor Truman Burrell is a big part of this season, and he is holding a press conference right this second on the fact that Bill's neat plan -- to blow up all the TruBlood factories and start a vampire jihad last week -- has had particularly unfortunate consequences for his constituents, who had the poor judgment to live in Louisiana, Vampire Capital of Everywhere Besides Transylvania, in the first place. He has a valid point, which is that in that week there have been at least 246 vampire-on-human deaths; he has a less valid plan, which is twofold: First, a curfew on vampires at night, which is equal to 24 hours a day of vampire curfew if you think about it, and two, as per "Executive Order 846 of the Louisiana State Constitution," we're closing down all vampire-run businesses, which again if you think about it is really a step towards something scarier. Oh, and bonus plan part the third: Everybody buy a gun!

A chick with stripes in her hair -- who therefore does not have an opinion worth listening to -- throws a bloodbag at the Governor's head and confusedly chants about "Stop the bloodshed!" And "Humans for vamps!" Something called the VUS, which I'm guessing the first letter is for vampire and the second letter is for unity probably, and the S is for "the rich white people who actually subscribe to HBO deserve an Occupy movement they can laugh at because it's so misguided." The S is for Obama.

Were you wondering if Burrell was a fucking creep? Guess what, quoting Andrew Jackson is proof. Don't do it. "Peace above all things must be desired, but blood must sometimes be shed to obtain it, on equable and lasting terms."

Jason Stackhouse loves it. And while I do love Jason Stackhouse, let us remember that he is functionally, um, apolitical? His politics don't matter and should not factor in?

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True Blood

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