-- and then the Doozers came and turned Bill's creepy old dead-person mansion into an awesome castle, and now he lives there all alone, feelin' empty due to Sookie, fillin' up that space with various fangbangers, witch-spies, and possibly the redoubtable head of the Bon Temps Chamber of Commerce.

*(Like, further to the basic stylistic problems with this script: Bill at this point swears something, quote, "On the office I am to ascend to." I ask you. I'm not a grammar police person, and I am aware that it's usually a sign of a cocksucker, but that's just flat retarded. Especially because the line is trying to be overly proper because of how it's Bill, but then it's noticeably wrong enough that it just pulls everything down, down, down. And nobody caught it? It wasn't the case which to sound to anybody's ears to whom wretched at all?)

FANGTASIA!

While Jessica is making a rash decision to head to Shreveport instead of a gas station, Sook's already there, annoying old Pam.

Sookie: "Every memory of everyone I have ever cello music or a guitar and my dead grandma and my granddad's watch and he turned into ghost spinach and all of Eric's dead girlfriends and Tara's drunk mom and so much feelings and ice cream and Maryann and family and quilts and..."
Pam: "Um, Season of the We Are Not Friends. And even if we were, Eric's my whole deal. I don't know how that escaped you enough that you would honestly think I would side with you."
Sookie: "Well, then I am waiting for him in the office so I can yell at him when he gets back from wherever."

Pam: "Okay, that's fine, and also -- since we're actually totally friends -- let me just suggest you reconsider his offer."
Sookie: "Why? So he can keep me and use me and drink from me and probably drain me some time by accident?"
Pam: "Somebody is definitely going to do those things. I'm the only other one that knows who you are, which is why it sort of falls to me to corroborate his You Are Going To Die Screaming story. Faerie Princess, you need to Be somebody's, or you won't be at all."
Sookie: "Threats of my death have proven too abstract, and I just tune you out. Explain it in a way which will ping my protofeminist sensibilities, or make me feel like my life is Titanic."
Pam: "Eric is handsome, he's rich, and in his own way he cares about you."
(This last with the eyebrow of the truly bewildered.)
Sookie: "Thanks for the advice? But I will never be Eric Northman's puppet."
Pam: "Shame for you then. He pulls good straaaaaaang."