True Blood
You Smell Like Dinner

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B-
The Lying, The Witch & The Wardrobe
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: The Lord Of The Rings, quantum spacetime, sad witches and dead birds and spying, devil babies, lesbian cagefighting, shapeshifting swingers, evil vampire real estate schemes, King Bill, and Timbo knocked Jason over the head.


Jason: "Hey, little panthers. Why am I tied up? Why is Timbo licking my head?"
Timbo: "It's just me, Mister Jason. Ya got a nasty gash, so..."
Jason: "What is lower than first aid? That's what you're doing right now. Let's see about untying me."
Timbo: "In between the dueling banjos and eating raw meat off the ground, things have gotten complicated here in our little township."
Jason: "Do you not recall how I love you and take care of you? It started because of Crystal, but she ran off with her brother-husband and now it's just us. Come on, Timbo. Assuredly you would not be licking my head if you didn't love me too."
Timbo, akimbo: TILT.

Felton: "Stop untying him that instant!"
Jason: "Crystal, where is she?"
Felton: "We can discuss that later. Right now I have to stick a gun in your face."


Sookie, Now A Renter: "Get out of my house! I am not Yours, my house is not Yours, none of my stuff is Yours!"
Eric: "Isn't it weird how in this show, just a piece of paper means I can walk into places whenever I want? And how since a living person doesn't own this house, other vampires can just waltz in and bite you? I guess you'll have to be my girlfriend now."
Sookie: "The house does not come with me inside it. Check your paperwork again."
Eric: "You are delicious, is the point. And the vampires are coming. Let me protect you. I did this creepy thing because you are special to me, in addition to being delicious. Think about it this way, I could totally bite you right now but I am not."
Sookie: "Um, thanks?"

Eric: "The first time Bill said you were His, how did you feel about that?"
Sookie: "Pissed."
Eric: "But also safe, because you literally were. Think about it."
Sookie: "I feel like I'm not being heard."
Eric: "That's only because you literally cannot hear what I'm saying back. Try this on for size, okay? There are two of you. There's the normal one of you that stomps around being crazy because you know your vampire boyfriends will come running, and then there's Crazy Faerie You, that is awesome. Stop pretending you're human, because you're way better than that."

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True Blood




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