True Blood
You Smell Like Dinner

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A-
The Lying, The Witch & The Wardrobe

Tara & Lafayette: "Season of the Bitch Are You Crazy."
Half the Witches: "Marnie, not to imply that you are mentally ill, but all signs point to that you are mentally ill. Frankly we're not sure how we missed it earlier."
Half the Witches: "Sure, why not? That doesn't seem super fucked up."
Lafayette: "You cannot trust a Wiccan to be cool! I knew they were going to embarrass me."
Tara: "I have to go call my girlfriend. Bon Temps just officially got stupid again."


Yuppie Shifters: "Let's have a contrived conversation about changing into crazy stuff so that Luna can 'open up' about how one time she shifted into her own mother so that we can introduce the Skinwalker myth into this show and then the blonde girl can ask how a Skinwalker is different from a shapeshifter and then we can learn that Luna is half Navajo and, apropos of nothing at all, she will start telling us how a Skinwalker gets their powers from killing another shifter who is also their relative, which Luna can do because her mother died in childbirth, and she can just dump all of this information on our heads like we're reading a Neal Stephenson novel or Wikipedia, while pretending to have feelings about it, and we can all play along and act like it's not totally stupid. Deal?"

Sam: "I hope no sketchy relatives of mine overheard that!"
Tommy: (Goes running off into the night.)
Sam: "I also hope that Luna actually looks like how she looks, and is not looking like a person that looks like Luna but is actually an ugly chick. Or a dude."
Luna: (Is totally a dude! I bet you five dollars.)

Sam gives chase to the mysterious person that is obviously Tommy, who will obviously now be wrestling with whether or not to kill Sam, and gain the ability to turn into people. Although obviously, just like in the myth, even just having that power automatically makes you a terrible person on this show, because the show is not interested in giving you that option, of just turning into another person. That would be suicide, in terms of this show: The unforgivable act of Xing yourself out to escape your past or your face.

The one thing that always gets you kicked in the junk, because it's so dumb and weak and gross. Even having that power would make you a worse person than Rene, even, so I hope nobody gets it -- although you can totally kill their gross mom if you want -- but also I guess that train of thought confirms that Naomi/Toni won't stick. (I hope the gay thing does, though.)

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True Blood




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