True Blood
You Smell Like Dinner

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Lying, The Witch & The Wardrobe

MOONGODDESS

Eric: "A little bird, heh, told me your leader's name is Marnie."
Marnie: "That's me."
Eric: "Are you sure?"
Witches: "Yeah, yeah. That's her. It's a long story."

Eric: "Um, okay. You guys can't be witches anymore. This coven is over."
Marnie: "I am not okay with that."
Eric: "Lala, tell 'em."
Lafayette: "He is the worst. Season of the Rip You Limb From Limb. He will kill us right now and then go shopping."
Marnie: "Okay, we're going to do a spell on you now instead."
Eric: "Okay, well, I am going to eat you then."
(He does.)

All the witches start chanting some dumb chant, and Tara tries to stake Eric but ends up getting very nearly bitten, but then Marnie and Lafayette link up the circle and once again, the metaphysical shit hits the phenomenological fan, and suddenly Marnie's face is turning into some other lady's face and she's saying this Latin incantation and everything goes dark and there is an otherworldly wind and then Eric just sort of... The Eric of him drains out of his face. He gets scared, and zooms away.

Marnie, back to sucking: "What happened? Is he gone?"

You could say that.

A BOY & HIS HOTSHOT

Crystal and Felton come into the room where they've got Jason tied up, and start getting naked. Jason immediately discerns that Felton is going to have sex with him or something, but it turns out that no: They are going to turn into panthers and bite and scratch him until he is a panther too, and then he will be getting Crystal pregnant with more panthers. Even though he was fine just kind of being their social worker.

DRIVE ANGRY

Having spent all evening and night trying to track down Eric to yell at him about the armoire in her house, Sookie's annoyed of course to see what looks like Eric -- shirtless, in leather -- wandering down the road.

Sookie: "Fucking Eric! I am so mad at you!"
Eric: "Who are you?"
Sookie: "None of that! No games, I'm going to stomp and yell so hard. You know you want it."
Eric: "Seriously, who are you?"
Sookie, getting nervous: "...Eric?"
Eric, very alert: "And why do you smell so good?"

Next week: Eric chows on some faerie, Bill allies with Portia, Jessica does something unforgiveable, we get a glimpse of life with Maxine, and... Honestly, it's the best episode of this entire series to date. Like, equal to/better than "I Will Rise Up." Get ready.

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True Blood

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