Eric: "Did the AVL cosign this action?"
Bill: "Ah am the King of Louisiana! Ah don't have to ask anyone for permission!"
Eric, loving it: "I will go tonight. My 'King.'"
Bill, also secretly kinda loving it: "Thank you, 'Sheriff.'"
So what happened after Sookie dumped him was that Bill was feeling nihilism -- pure nihilism! -- and so he decided to fight the Queen, and she was beating his ass, but it turns out the whole thing was a lie and actually Nan and Bill set the whole thing up. So a bunch of sharpshooters came flooding into his house and pumped Sophie-Anne full of wooden, silver-core bullets, and she exploded. Onscreen. So, that's sad I guess.
Then Nan was like, "Well, I guess you're King now. Just don't lie to me, or else I'll take you out too." And they buzzed through a little pretend ritual like the Authority mattered or the Monarchy mattered* --
Nan: "By the power vested in me by the one true Vampire Authority whose wisdom and justice we hold sacred I hereby pronounce you King William Compton of Louisiana."
Bill: "I pledge my fealty to the Authority for as long as I walk this Earth and I swear it upon the Blood."
Nan: "Great. Now go clean yourself up, you're covered in Queen."
-- and then the Doozers came and turned Bill's creepy old dead-person mansion into an awesome castle, and now he lives there all alone, feelin' empty due to Sookie, fillin' up that space with various fangbangers, witch-spies, and possibly the redoubtable head of the Bon Temps Chamber of Commerce.
*(Like, further to the basic stylistic problems with this script: Bill at this point swears something, quote, "On the office I am to ascend to." I ask you. I'm not a grammar police person, and I am aware that it's usually a sign of a cocksucker, but that's just flat retarded. Especially because the line is trying to be overly proper because of how it's Bill, but then it's noticeably wrong enough that it just pulls everything down, down, down. And nobody caught it? It wasn't the case which to sound to anybody's ears to whom wretched at all?)
While Jessica is making a rash decision to head to Shreveport instead of a gas station, Sook's already there, annoying old Pam.
Sookie: "Every memory of everyone I have ever cello music or a guitar and my dead grandma and my granddad's watch and he turned into ghost spinach and all of Eric's dead girlfriends and Tara's drunk mom and so much feelings and ice cream and Maryann and family and quilts and..."
Pam: "Um, Season of the We Are Not Friends. And even if we were, Eric's my whole deal. I don't know how that escaped you enough that you would honestly think I would side with you."
Sookie: "Well, then I am waiting for him in the office so I can yell at him when he gets back from wherever."