Pam: "Okay, that's fine, and also -- since we're actually totally friends -- let me just suggest you reconsider his offer."
Sookie: "Why? So he can keep me and use me and drink from me and probably drain me some time by accident?"
Pam: "Somebody is definitely going to do those things. I'm the only other one that knows who you are, which is why it sort of falls to me to corroborate his You Are Going To Die Screaming story. Faerie Princess, you need to Be somebody's, or you won't be at all."
Sookie: "Threats of my death have proven too abstract, and I just tune you out. Explain it in a way which will ping my protofeminist sensibilities, or make me feel like my life is Titanic."
Pam: "Eric is handsome, he's rich, and in his own way he cares about you."
(This last with the eyebrow of the truly bewildered.)
Sookie: "Thanks for the advice? But I will never be Eric Northman's puppet."
Pam: "Shame for you then. He pulls good straaaaaaang."
Outside, Jessica takes off her sweater and pushes through the crowd of Teabaggers, and then inside, and takes her hair literally down, and everything is muffled and intense, and then she sees that very attractive young fellow from earlier, and heads over to him with the whole world shaking and his jugular pulsing, and they head off to the bathroom together.
MOONGODDESS SPICERACK & HENNA TATTOO EMPORIUM
Tara: "I was given to understand from Vampire Diaries that all witches are African-American -- and vice versa -- but this here is a remarkably Caucasian crowd. And, from the looks of things, really into twelve-sided dice and polyamory and Firefly. The ectomorphic verisimilitude to actual Wiccans is pretty outstanding."
Holly: "What we accomplished last night was remarkable, and Marnie appreciates each and every one of us for bein' a part of it..."
Tara: "If Marnie's so appreciative, how come Marnie don't talk?"
Lafayette: "Shhh. Long story. Also, you're being rude. These guys may have low social skills and poor earning potential, but they're not deaf."
Witches: "What are we going to bring back next?"
Witches: "I say another bird!"
Witches: "I say a different animal!"
Witches: "I say Dumbledore!"
Witches: "I say Tara! No, the other one!"
Witches: "I say Charmed!"
Marnie: "I say a person, in my stroke-victimy way."
Marnie: "A dead body. It is going to be awesome."