The cops admit a man to Jason's cell. He's neither friend nor family; perhaps he is both. He is given five minutes. Jason isn't interested, thinking at first he's a lawyer. He doesn't want a lawyer: lawyers argue the truth, turn it into something ambivalent, dig beneath the easy shallows and show the dimensions of the world, how up can be down, how clean can be dirty, how killers can go free. The last thing he wants is an attorney, when the only thing attorneys do is bring us closer to the complex truth. An attorney would say, "You did this thing and this thing, but you are not guilty. You deserve the right to a trial, and to the protection of the law. Your murders are not murders. Eddie did not die. Eddie was already dead. You are free." The apocalypse is a single page, stuffed so full with white it screams.
"I'm here on behalf of the Fellowship of the Sun," says Orry Dawson, and bored Jason sits up: "That anti-vampire church?" A contradiction, a cult, a Hurley Burley if ever there were one: how can a church -- a word which means love and home and family and infinite compassion and welcome -- possibly condone hate? How can religion -- a word that means reconnection -- possible preach destruction? It makes his head hurt, fuzzy like a dead channel, and so he rejects it. This isn't follow the leader, this is the price of Jason's kindness and his blind, loving heart.
If you'd told him, even before Eddie, that v-juice opens the doorway to infinite compassion and love, for all God's creatures, he'd be confused by the horror that brings it to his door. If you'd told him the world is full of infinite recombining beauty, all souls connected, all things connected... And yet there are abominations, dead things walking, predators we must destroy, he'd be confused, his head would buzz with the knowledge that your words disagreed with the wordless truth in his gigantic heart. He needed Amy to explain to him how even the principle of inclusion necessarily carries within it the signifier of exclusion: that Gaia is life, and thus excludes death. Even in the face of Eddie's beauty, even when Jason's entire body sang out for the love of Eddie, she told him how both things could be true. And every time he faltered, she reminded him, and told him a new way it could be true. How love which contains everything can and must contain also hate. How we feed our addictions, the needs we can't control, through a radical reassessment of terms. How we take the signs and twist their meanings.













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