True Blood
You'll Be The Death Of Me

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A
All Signs Are Vital

Because you know who's Hoyt's age, recently turned, and possibly the only person in Louisiana more excited about vampires than him? Yeah. Bill's playing ragtime alone in his house (of course he is) when Jessica comes bursting in, 100% hotter, 1000% snottier, and having traded her whole Juniper look for something a little more Hot Topic. Pigtails, gum-snapping, fang-baring, short-skirted, gartered and blowsy: Jessica 2.0. "Hi, Daddy," she spits nastily, as he stares at her in stark terror. I think I just fell in love with vampire trash.

Eric (sort of Hot Topicky in his own right) and Pam (in a gorgeous powder-blue midcentury nubby Chanel top and skirt) come in on her heels, clearly exhausted in a way that not even a thousand years of immortality could prepare you for. "There are favors? And then there are... Favors," Eric nods meaningfully at Jessica. "She is extremely annoying," Pam clarifies deliciously. Bill starts to whine and freak out about it, and Eric's like, "Nope, she's your problem. Or you could give me Sookie." There is much fang-popping and dick-measuring, to which Pam gives a luxurious eye-roll, and Bill of course gives in. Eric says after a few nights with "this one," though, Bill might see giving up Sookie as the better option. Pam wishes him a snarky good luck as they desert him, and laughs as Eric Swedishly thanks the skies for sweet freedom from Jessica as their leaving. "So," Jessica says coyly. "Who's good to eat around here?" She pops her fangs out and giggles nastily, and Bill is just outrageously put upon. Man, Jessica makes me love Bill as much as Sookie does. Something about that fatherly mixture of appalled, complete confusion and stark terror just adds up to delight.

Tara points Sookie toward Andy, who is now seeing double, and when she asks for his keys she gets two speeches at once. "I ain't giving you shit, Stackhouse," he says, and (I'm a failure a pathetic fuckin' loser and everybody knows it just like she said they would bet she's real happy with herself...) Sookie is taken aback. Who knew people -- much less Andy Bellefleur -- even listened when she talked? "It don't ever make me happy to see someone in pain!" He's so sad and so incredibly cute right now. "I'm gonna call your sister to come pick you up. Detective Bellefleur." That last bit just for him. His face comes over all soft and happy, and he is for a second lit by such joy that he tears up.

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True Blood




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