He strapped on a mask, pretended to be Drew. He didn't even know Drew existed, but he knew -- based on what his body was telling him -- that there must be a Drew, somewhere in the world. There must be someone to stand against the darkness. He wore gloves Lafayette would have loved, and smoked a cigarette. And eventually she died too. It's what she wanted: to pull up a chair, and sit with Death, and drink awhile. And somewhere in there Jason knew it was what she deserved. To sit with Death and not to drink; to make love with Death. He knew how it made him feel, just to think about it: like trash, like he deserved pain, and worse than pain. And he could not conceive of a world in which anybody felt differently about it. Surely everyone had walls up in their kingdoms, separating dark from light, moon from sun; surely she was disgusted, in her way, by what desire made her do. And then came Bill Compton, and Sookie who always knows best went willing into those shadows. And then came V.
So what makes the difference? What makes Jason stay -- for better or worse -- Jason Stackhouse, while the same starting point, the same complex and incomprehensible desires, made Drew a killer of women? As you know, I think there is something exceptional about Jason, but I don't think that's it. I think Adele, Lafayette and Amy guided him through it, and out the other side. I can't say what makes a man become Drew Marshall, so I can't say for certain that Jason would never go there, but I can say that Adele gave him a lot to work with. And Lafayette guided him first to v-juice and then to Eddie, which were the things that saved him. And Amy, who showed him horrors while teaching him love, unconditional compassion, and the secret of life. But there was none of that for Drew, because Drew is not half as brave or half as wise as Jason Stackhouse: he just ditched himself, walled it off, became Rene Lanier. It was like declaring bankruptcy: everybody else pays the price.
But Rene can't imagine a world in which we walk that line even as gracefully as Jason has managed: there are good things and there are bad things, and there are real bad things. There is the day, and there is the night. I think if this season, this story, are about anything it's about the dangers of oversimplifying. We're handed soundbites all day, and we manufacture our own, and while it doesn't really contribute to living a fully authentic life, where things get really fucking bad is when we play that card on ourselves: I am bad, I must change. I am saved, I must achieve stasis. You are sick, I must destroy you. We pick a line in the chaos, when we've no way of being objective about the choice or the consequences, and we say: "This. This is my country. No more and no less." I am Rene Lanier, I am Jason Stackhouse.