True Blood
You're No Good

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 7 USERS: A-
The Color Boner

It's like, everybody knows when you walk by the color purple in a field and don't notice it, that pisses God off. But I think in certain circumstances, boners are the same way.


Even Steve is excited to see Sarah Newlin! Downside, she is dressed like the Queen of Mars: Higher the hair/closer to God, but with a disturbingly fashion-forward little red dress with crazy sleeves and more (silver, note) bling than you can shake a Coco Chanel at. Of course, she is not having his BS at all; of course, he cannot read the writing on the wall that she is clearly well-placed here in Anna Camp Camp.

Steve: "No way! You're here to save me, that's amazing!"
Sarah: "Bitch, no. Come on."

They run through their history since we last saw them, and it's pretty great: When he split to be a gay vampire, he destroyed the Fellowship and ran off with all the money. She was hurt, but even worse she was embarrassed; she wrote a book about the whole scandal which he thought was maybe a little hard on him, because Steve is nothing if not very merciful to himself. And now he's a vampire -- still campin' it up just a hair past acceptable -- and she's here, with a view that Camp Anna Camp as the next evolution of the FOS itself: "God's master plan to save the human race by eradicating the vampire race."

Sarah: "And now you, Steve, are a vampire!"
Steve: "But not really. I just have a wide stance/am one of the good ones."
Sarah: "Don't bullshit a bullshitter. I'm in politics now. But I realized you can't real change, like we wanted, from the pulpit. if you really wanna do God's work you have to [buy your way into] politics."

She leaves him to Dr. Overlark from earlier, and when Steve pretends not to know who Eric Northman is for a blessed second, Overlark shows him a big scary technology of pain, and he immediately rolls over. I'm still not in love with the whole Steve Newlin thing. Hating Christians is boring, self-righteously getting off on people's hypocrisy is boring, watching people act dumb so you can talk about how dumb they are is boring. I really like the actor and I'm so happy to see Sarah, but Steve Newlin got a lot less cool when he turned. It's the same privilege in play as the hipster-racist jokes on Showtime shows: A cheap way to cheat yourself out of your liberal ideals while pretending you're still one of the good guys.


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