True Blood
You're No Good

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 7 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
The Color Boner

Random Owl: "That is very interesting."

White Knight Douche gets his little entitled white man feelings hurt that the minorities aren't doing what he says, and immediately throws a hissy fit, which is all the reason the Pack -- starting with Raccoona, who is just an all-purpose shitbag -- needs to shift and attack. Thank God, though. And of course Sam shifts out of owl form and takes advantage of the chaos to steal this child he has no claim on at all, and then wolf-Alcide saves Nicole from wolf-Raccoona, because no matter how annoying she is she's still the only one that isn't a fucking waste of skin, and then Sam and Emma also decide to help her, because have you met Sam? It is like a two-for-one sale on chicks that are none of his business.

GINGER

Answers Eric's cell, and then obediently takes the Governor's call to the coffin, where I guess Eric is taking his time this PM.

There's a pretty great sequence in which Eric and Pam take the call out into the living room while Tara is left to tie Willa back up, so she only hears Eric's half of the conversation with her vampire hearing -- and none of the Governor's -- which makes her think Eric is being serious when all wants to talk about is the various ways he's going to kill Willa. (This scene also relies on Tara being an idiot, but I'm done fighting it.)

Meanwhile Eric is under the impression that his phone is untraceable, which turns out not to be true, so then there's a second single-blind going on where the Governor is weeping and moaning and crying but all the vampires heard his phone-tapper say that he knows where they are, so half of it becomes just stalling to get the girl and get the hell out of Ginger's house, but again: Tara doesn't know that either, so she's long gone when they show up.

Eric: "Ginger, now, you're my assistant. So your job is to stall for me. The girl is very tied up, I'm extremely bad at untying people, whatever. Just keep him on the line. Once they bust in here, you never saw any of us. Got it? Good. Goodnight, Ginger."

I like how this episode is like, Eric is always exceedingly respectful toward Ginger, didn't you know that? And it feels like, "Yep, that's how he always is, that's hilarious and sweet." But also, he did promise to fuck her, and Eric does not break his promises. So not only does she get to see the best of all possible Erics, but also she lives in the best of all possible worlds, if you subtract the ones where her entire brain is not oatmeal.

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True Blood

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