True Blood
You're No Good

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 7 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
The Color Boner

Eric: "No thanks! Put the duct tape back over your mouth in case you feel chatty, though."
Willa: "My dad's racism is just the first thing you notice. He also -- remember that story last term that he had an affair and that's why my mom left? That story is on opposite day. In fact my mom is a total fangbanger and her boyfriend has a Fangtasia! in Hollywood..."
Eric, verbatim: "There is only one Fangtasia!, Willa."
Willa: "Right sure but listen, she tried to get custody so I could go with, and my dad had the Lieutenant Governor screw that up. I just found out all of..."
Eric: "Is this your way of showing you're not racist? Or 'not racist' like your fetishizing mom is."
Willa: "The latter tbh."

She notices -- in the middle of a short speech about how maybe she will be dead soon -- that Eric has the Bleeds, another thing this show just remembered might happen. Both for obvious reasons, and for the reason that she is about to die, she sticks up a finger and nabs some of the Bleeds blood coming out his eyehole. He does not let her suck it, because then they would have several additional problems, but in this incredible way where he looks in her eyes while he sucks her own blood off her finger, and then right before she has fifty shades of a orgasm, he goes, "Now put your tape back on."

There he is, there's our guy. It is already sexier and more fucked up than anything that ever happened with Sookie (besides maybe the bullet). Think about that for a moment. I am not even into dumb kinky things, and that was phenomenal. Where ya been, Eric? You gotta holler at your boy every now and then, you know what I mean?

THIBODEAUX FIELD

Niall: "Hey, hottie. You a fairy?"
Ben: "How much cash you... Oh, you mean for real. Yeah. Do you know where, ahem, 'Hot Wings' is? I need to rest. It is from being eaten by a vampire."
Niall: "Have you seriously been looking for it since last episode? Damn. Anyway, 'Hot Wings' is gone. It was eaten also by a vampire."
Ben: "That sucks. I am super tired and need to recharge my fairyness."
Niall: "I have been looking for this dude forever. I've seen things you wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. My parents are gone and now all the faeries are gone, just like tears in rain."

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True Blood

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