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True Lies

Commercials. Cotton: The Other White Fabric.

Strummy alt-crap music plays as we crane-shot it near the Smallville high-school entrance. Everybody's got their letter jackets on. Clark is chasing Chloe down the hallway. He complains that he's been trying to reach "Planet Chloe" for two hallways. Planet Chloe has flippy mountains on the sides of each hemisphere. Chloe says she's had a lot on her mind. She asks if Clark has his Teacher of the Year interview done. Clark says he called and left a message but didn't get a call back. Couldn't he just go to her classroom? Chloe agrees with me. She gives Clark a "my friend, the idiot" look, and says that the teacher is like Fort Knox about her personal life, and that journalism isn't about sitting back and waiting for the truth (episode shout-out!) to come to you. Chloe says that sometimes you have to work for it. Chloe spots the teacher walking down the hall and tells Clark that sometimes timing is everything. She tells Clark that "no comment" is not an option, and pushes him toward the Jane Curtin-looking teacher. Clark tries to talk to the the teacher, who looks absolutely horrified. Chloe hovers as the teacher says she's really busy this week. You know...teaching. Chloe interrupts and asks for "ten minutes, tops. Before Lit class. Does that work for you?" Right after she says that, we go into Chloe's mouth. It's disgusting! Green spores of CGI ickiness sail from Chloe's mouth to the teacher's nose. Mmm, minty. I'm confused about that word, by the way. It seems others are using it now that Seth popularized it on The O.C. Is it a bad thing? Like if I say, "This show hasn't been gay in a while. Minty!" Is that a slam? Or am I pleased? Is that the same as being "WB Fresh"? Well, whatever it means, this scene is awfully minty. "No...I'm printing a pop quiz," the teacher finally says after consideration, "because I watched TV last night instead of preparing for class." Chloe raises an eyebrow or two. The teacher, surprised at herself, walks off. Clark is a little surprised, too. "Did she really just say that?" Chloe asks, amused.

The offices of The Torch. Pete is putting his books away when Clark enters. Clark asks if they're still on for tonight. Pete says he has to drop some stuff off with his mom, but that he should be home in time for tip-off. Pete and basketball. Two great stereotypes that taste great together. Clark says he's supplying dinner and Pete's got the big screen. But does he have Digital Guy's premium HD programming package? I didn't think so. Chloe cringes. "Clark Kent in the kitchen?" she scoffs. Oh, it's all just good-natured fun among barely-speaking friends. Chloe asks what's on the menu. Pete says that Clark is going to run to Metropolis to get some Shark Dogs from the stadium. Even supposing Clark got into the stadium to get the hot dogs (which I guess he could get outside), wouldn't running at 1,000 mph from one city to another make those dogs a little cold from all that wind by the time he got back? Minty, even? Behind Chloe's back, Clark is non-verbally going, "Pete!? What the fuck, man!?" Chloe seeks answers. Pete says that when Clark goes supersonic, he can make the round trip in ten minutes. Clark's face goes, "GRRRR!" Pete realizes what he just did. "He's kidding," Clark says when Chloe finally turns around. Clark walks out of the office, annoyed. He takes Pete with him. In the hallway, Clark says dangerously, "What was that?" Pete has no idea. He didn't mean to say it. Pete says he just had this urge to tell Chloe the truth. "Well, next time you get that urge, don't," says Clark. He's a postmodern superhero. Wrong is right with this guy. Pete is shamed. Go away for three episodes, Pete!

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