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True Lies

Add the movie Godsend to your "creepy children" video collection next year.

The lab where Chloe got sprayed. Clark walks in right through the sliding doors like it ain't no thang. At regular speed, even. Still no videocameras installed. Clark goes digging through some files and finds one helpfully labeled "Levitas." I love that soap! "Clark! The last time I checked, this area's restricted," says Lex, creeping up like a sexy phantom. Clark, surprised, says, "Hey Lex!" Hey, Clark. How you doin'? Clark says he came in when he saw the outside door was unlocked. Lex says the lock looked broken, but that he'll talk to Security about it. Clark gulps. He says he's worried about a friend. Lex asks whether this friend broke into the lab a few nights ago. "Clark, why didn't you come to me?" asks Lex. It's not much, but it's the Gayest Look of the Episode. Clark says that the last time he did that, his conversations ended up with the FBI. Lex tries to assure Clark that the Kents are off-limits to them. Because Lex makes all the rules for the FBI now. He's blowing Tenet, apparently. (Who as CIA director is in turn blowing the head of the FBI. It's a Department of Homeland Security thing. There's cross-departmental blowing going on now.) "I was kinda hoping you might return the favor," says Lex. On your knees, farmboy! Lex asks what Clark was doing in the lab. "It wasn't me," says Clark. Clark swears he wasn't in the shower with the neighbor or bangin' on the bathroom floor. Clark asks what Lex was working on down there. Lex says it was an old project of his dad's that he was trying to resurrect. Lex comes close to Clark the way we like it. "We didn't get far enough to gauge the potential side effects," Lex says. So, let's keep hanging out down here in the lab where everything might be radioactive. Lex says there could be health risks to Clark's "friend." Lex wants to know who it is. We cut out of there before Clark can answer.

The Talon. Chloe, smug and satisfied, is still being avoided by her peers. Some guy shoulder-bumps her. Before Chloe can react, someone throws a newspaper at her. It's Son of the Teacher of the Year, and boy is he pissed. He says that his mom had to go into hiding, and that the police are looking for her. Sucks to be you, Son of the Bank Bomber. Chloe smiles and says she printed the truth and can't be held responsible. The boy, who looks about as menacing as my cat's poo, leans in and whispers, "You ruined my life." He leaves. Everybody follows. "Is it just me or did I completely clear out the lunch crowd?" Chloe asks Lana, who isn't wearing pink, at least. Lana -- honest for once -- says, "No, it was you. Ever since you turned The Torch into your own personal gossip column, no one can stand to be around you." Snap! Chloe says that at least Lana is talking to her. Lana gets scared and says, "For now." She tries to walk off, but Chloe pursues. Lana tells Chloe that she applied to the Paris School of the Arts. It's a full-time program, so Lana won't be able to run a café in France, though it doesn't hurt to dream. Lana says that if she gets accepted, she'll start in the summer. I hear a choir singing "Hallelujah" somewhere. Chloe asks when all this was decided. Lana's been thinking about it for a while. She says that everybody has families, but that she doesn't fit in. Chloe says she thought she and her dad were Lana's family. Lana brings Chloe in for a reality check. She says that everyone thinks of Lana as driven and self-involved. No, Lana, "driven" is a good quality. We think you're boring, lame, and out of your depth, character-wise. Self-involved? Yeah, I could see that. Lana says she can't wait to get out of there and go somewhere that people don't judge her. Go! Go, already! I judge! ["And you know who never judges Americans? The French." -- Wing Chun] Chloe is hurt. She says she never said that. Lana says she didn't have to. Chloe asks why Lana never told her this before. "Because I couldn't trust you," Lana says. Chloe is near tears. She walks out. Lana realizes what she said and puts on her pity mask. Now it's another thing for Lana to feel bad and whine about.

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