MONDO EXTRAS

This episode treated my heart like so much tinder. I hurt for all Jack and Henry lost, and all Allison has never known, but it was Henry's anger and the possibility that he might be beyond redemption that left Eureka's brand on my soul and my heart among the cinders. -- Cindy McLennan

Oh, Daddy
Rock of Love, "Meet the Parents," September 16, 2007
To paraphrase the legendary Mr. T., I pity the fool who didn't watch the first season of Rock of Love. Seriously, it's the best thing to happen until over-the-counter Valtrax is readily available.

With so many glorious and lovable skanks vying for the affections of bewigged erstwhile rock god Bret Michaels, you might think it would be hard to pick just one moment as the most memorable of all. This means you have not seen the "Meet the Parents" episode. When former allies Lacey, the minimally talented and manipulative vegetarian, and Heather, the hungry stripper with tatters -- and a heart -- of gold, turned into tequila-soaked enemies, we all knew that drama would ensue. But could we ever imagine that said drama would encompass: 1) Heather repeatedly calling Lacey a dicksucker in front of her creepy dad, Otis; 2) Otis consequently walking up to Bret and saying, "Sorry to bother you, big boy, I just had somebody yell at me... that I need to be concerned that my daughter is sucking your dick," (no joke!); 3) the truly amazing phrase "dicksucker whorebag" entering our collective lexicon? Nay, we could not have imagined this absolute pinnacle of the televisual medium -- it had to happen organically, with the help of a lot of booze, a couple of power ballads, and a context where dicksucking is not only tolerated, but encouraged.

It's Bret Michaels' world, everyone. We just observe it with the proper mixture of horror and delight. -- Potes

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Rich Girl Scorned
Gossip Girl, "Victor/Victrola," November 7, 2007
We've all been there -- you find out your boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend on an abandoned bar at a wedding and decide that the only way to exact appropriate revenge is by sleeping with his best friend. The denouement of Gossip Girl season one had nothing to do with Serena "killing" someone like the promos would have had us believe. The most memorable moment was the night that Blair Waldorf, icy, calculated princess, let her inner scorned-woman-turned-wild-child out and engaged in the kind of delectable vengeance we all wish we could visit on the people that do us wrong. Of course, this being Gossip Girl, a show about beautiful, privileged city kids, her vengeance entailed doing a (very classy) burlesque strip tease at an appropriately stylish and retro cabaret club under the hot-and-bothered gaze of the aforementioned boyfriend's best friend, followed by a steamy sex scene in the back of -- what else -- a limo. The fact that the romp was also Blair's deflowering added another scandalous level to the already Byzantine maze of intrigue, betrayal and hormones run amok. Not only did the moment encapsulate the delight of watching the archetypal good-girl-gone-bad scenario unfold, it was pure wish fulfillment for every girl who's ever been screwed over by a no-good dude. Only with better hair and clothes and a pitch-perfect soundtrack. -- Lauren Gitlin