Pete's truck motors through the dark and comes to a stop in that much-ballyhooed area of the Pacific Northwest known as "the woods." A flashlight switches on, and the voice of Windom "Witchblade" Earle rises up through the darkness, announcing, "Glastonbury Grove." He shines the flashlight onto the passenger seat, revealing the back of Annie "Lost In Space" Blackburn's head, introducing himself thusly: "I am Windom Earle." She repeats his name in surprise, which strikes me as a little odd until I remember that the emotional range of this actress compresses "confused" and "upset" and "terrified" and "resigned" and "happy" into the catch-all emotional response of "present." Earle notes the "twelve rainbow trout," which is for some reason Yoko's cue to ask, "If you're gonna kill me, why don't you get it over with?" Earle retorts that there's "plenty of time for that." Tick tock tick tock. Earle, I wholeheartedly disagree. The flashlight beam tracks across the ground, as a praying-under-her-breath Yoko Blackburn struggles periodically to get away. He carts her over to a circle of twelve sycamore trees, and Earle actually deigns to frighten us by holding the flashlight beam under his chin and telling her, "You and I have an appointment at the end of the world." Sorry, Earle, but I believe the correct line in this particular situation is, "It was a night just like this one in these very woods" and blah-blah-blah-hooks-where-his-hands-should-be-cakes. I guess you just can't be a believable woods-dwelling storytelling villain unless you've seen Meatballs enough times, huh? Which is very different than that Nance vehicle Meatballs 4, I might add. Yoko continues on, "He'll come for me," and Earle roughs her into the circle, responding, "No, he won't. The same thing happened last time, when he fell in love with my wife. I took the boy right to the edge that time." He continues trying to pull her into the circle and she continues trying to resist, but with a shriek she goes rigid and silent. Her eyes glaze over and she stares out with no expression (or perhaps this is how she's always looked) as Earle informs her, "You'll not run from me now. Not in this circle of trees. You'll come with me." He takes her hand (leaving, I might add, the eyes-glazing wonder of the circle of trees he values so highly) and walks deeper into the woods, a tall red curtain appearing ever-so-vaguely before them.
Episode Report CardDjb: A- | 729 USERS: B-
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