Twin Peaks
Episode Twenty-Three

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Djb: C+ | Grade It Now!
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"Windom's Angels" just doesn't have the same ring to it

Leo "In A Coma, I Know, I Know, It's Serious" Johnson sits outside Earl's cabin in the woods, whittling some kind of long, wooden sticks for an as yet unascertained reason. Earl strolls outside, accompanied by the most enormous gut I've ever seen on a televised man not clinking a frosty beer mug and proclaiming "Da Bears!" over and over and over again. Man, am I kickin' it with the early 90s references today or what? Earl sings a ditty about holding a girl "in his arms," though from a wingspan-to-girth-ratio perspective, that seems like a physically impossible endeavor for him just at the moment. He congratulates Leo on a "good job," looking out into the woods and demanding, "Fly to my breast." I…nah, too easy. Earl tells Leo that he hopes he's been paying attention as he affixes a pointy arrow to the end of the wooden stick and warning Leo, "Nature is cruel." Actually, I believe the correct word you're looking for is less "breast" than it is "manboob."

Hank lies in the quiet comfort of the one jail cell in the back of the police station. A pair of legs in a waitress uniform carries Norma into the room, and she launches in after a vague hello with the unmistakable message, "Hank, I came here to ask you for a divorce." He knows how self-destructive he is and tells her he wants to go into therapy. "I don't want to be like this anymore." She sardonically tells him that his story is "very interesting," but insists she needs to get on with her life. He leans into the bars and asks her for one favor: "I want you to tell the Sheriff that I was at the rest stop the night that Leo Johnson was shot. I was on my way home. I can't prove it, but you can." Norma tells him that she won't cover his ass anymore, and he raises his voice ever so slightly in offering her the deal: "You give me my alibi, and I give you your divorce." Brows are furrowed and minor chords deployed. He grabs her arm through the bars and she rips it away. "I didn't come here to negotiate with you. This is it. It's over." Hank goes for the jugular, telling her, "You're his whore, Norma." And thus, Legs looks him straight in the eye and delivers the defining Peggy Lipton line for a generation of leggy women with ambiguously evil imprisoned husbands to champion for time immemorial: "I'd rather be his whore than your wife." The crowd of me goes wild. Norma doesn't let the door hit her in the ass on the way out as Hank rattles the bars of the cell, screaming her name after her.

"Searching For" Pete Martell stands over the still chessboard as Truman and Cooper flank him and drink coffee while looking concerned. Truman intercoms to Lucy to get the Gazette on the phone and extend the deadline for personals submission, just as Pete settles on a move which, he tells them, "That's it." Cooper needs to make sure Windom can't remove any more pieces from the board, and we're assured that it can't be done "for five, six more moves." Truman notes that he's "never heard of someone who murdered by the rules" because we've never, not once, heard a thing about that being an essential component of Earl's makeup. So it's important that we hear it again. They are soon to be interrupted by Albert, who calls Cooper out of the office. The Seattle police have an eyewitness account placing Josie at the scene of where Asian Man was Killed!!! Albert would consider it a personal affront if Cooper "ain't gonna bust this bitch," and Truman walks by just then to see the two men looking very you're-girlfriend-sure-is-one-busted-bitch.

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