Twin Peaks

Episode Report Card
Djb: C | 992 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Diane Keaton wuz here

Nadine walks into the room, accidentally ripping the door right off the hinges in the process (because we get it, is why). She crosses the room without a word, and climbs into bed on Ed's other side. Okay, that was pretty funny. She hands Ed a trophy and frets about being disqualified from a cheeleading competition this afternoon, and as Ed tries to sympathize he mindlessly hands the trophy off to Norma. Not bad, not bad. Norma mutters a hello, and Nadine responds that she owes her an apology, because, "I really pounded Hank, and I am sorry. But I thought he was gonna do something to Eddie, and I sorta got mad." She then climbs out of the bed and makes for the non-door, stopping just before she makes her exit. She turns back to the bed as The Louise Dombrowski Blues kicks up anew, and Nadine admits, "I know about you guys. And it's really, really okay. Because I don't have to feel so guilty about me and Mike." She leaves. Ed and Norma exchange a glance. Can I add Frank Fontana from Murphy Brown to my non-shirtless early 90s list? Thanks.

A brief shot of The Trees That Do Moodily Blow takes us inside the Packard house, where Josie "China Beach" Packard (yeesh…sorry about that one, but you see how hard it is to maintain this particular nickname theme, no?) sits at the kitchen table with Cooper and Truman. Truman tells her that "the Seattle police want answers, and I have to tell them something. They know you were connected with Jonathan." Josie asks how he was killed, and we pan over to the AP story screaming "Asian man killed!!!" as the headline from last week's episode. Cooper fills in that blank: "He was shot three times in the back of the head." Josie takes Truman's hand under the table, as Cooper stands to get more coffee. He finds the percolator that recalls the glory days of a fish within it, and takes a deep breath because Diane Keaton is a very, very clever woman. The swinging door swings, and in comes a gigantic pile of dry cleaning as carried quite awkwardly by Pete. The kitchen door swings open and closed not short of fifteen times while Pete and Cooper stand behind it, Pete filling Cooper in that he was helping Josie out because "Katherine has been running her into the ground." The phone rings, and some wacky dry cleaning hijinks ensue as Pete hands the parcels off to Cooper. Ring. Hello? It's for Josie. Cooper, meanwhile, conveniently uses this moment to extract a fiber from a black article of clothing. Josie picks up the phone to hear Eckhardt's evil-as-British voice on the other end, and he tells her, "I was wondering if we could get together." Pause. "Did you hear what happened to Jonathan? Dreadful. Dreadful." Word. The scourge of the killed Asian man. Or should I say "KILLED ASIAN MAN!!!" The three exclamation points were what really killed me. Cut to the kitchen, where Katherine, eavesdropping, utters a sinister, "Welcome to Twin Peaks, Mr. Eckhardt." The convo ends, and we cut to Eckhardt ripping off his incredibly Price Club sunglasses and reporting to a bizarrely mannish woman standing nearby, "She's run back to Katherine Martell. I'm so disappointed." She-man barks something in, I think, Russian, or perhaps some kind of Scandinavian strain befitting her insanely Nordic build.

Twin Peaks

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