Danny Desai just has to play soccer. He is really good at it. Jo just wants to solve this murder, but she and her dad are not good at it. In a weak excuse for a scene, Lacey wants to join Serita and Phoebe as friends, and her mom invites Jo along because she saw the cupcakes. Danny is placed into a starting position on the soccer team after kicking the ball into the goal a couple times.
Jo and Rico are focusing their investigation on Archie, Lacey's boyfriend with anger problems. His alibi doesn't add up, and he just acts like a murderer. They encourage Danny to try to bond with Archie and the rest of the soccer team, while Jo goes to Lacey's party to see what she can learn from the most wretched girls at school.
Jo doesn't really bond with Serita or Phoebe, but on upside she snoops inside a box of Regina's things in Lacey's room and finds a weird DVD of Archie playing soccer. The DVD has salacious subtitles like "Soccer Stud!" and "Delicious Perfection," leading Jo to believe that Regina and Archie had a little something going on. It's a conclusion drawn as wide as the one that gets Chief Masterson a search warrant for the Desai home, at which they don't find the necklace.
Danny impresses the soccer team with his goal kicks but still doesn't get invited to the diner to hang out. The next day, Archie and Danny try to put their differences aside, but Archie can only be compassionate for so long and botches the whole game by being a ball hog. Danny confronts Archie about his alibi in the locker room and Archie says he borrowed Scott's car to meet with the coach at Masterson Prep. You know, soccer stuff.
Lacey confronts Jo about stealing the Soccer Stud DVD and rebuffs Jo's accusations with the information that Regina's uncle is the athletic director at Masterson Prep so that's who the DVD was for. Still seems a little weird, but whatever.
At some Mom Brunch, the moms of all the characters are pretty bitchy to each other, but no one out-bitches Regina's mom. She tells Denise Richards that she's going to do everything to convict Danny of her daughter's murder, just like straight up. To make the day worse for Denise Richards, Chief Masterson searches her home. This is why we hit the wine, ladies.
Finally, Danny admits to Jo and Rico that he knows about the necklace, and that it used to belong to his aunt. He doesn't confess to having the necklace, which Denise Richards finds hidden under the cupholder in her late husband's chair after the cops searched her home not-so-thoroughly.
Vital discoveries in this episode: Archie was looking at other schools but might still be lying, Regina does not have the future in video editing that Serita does, Denise Richards found the necklace that is a family heirloom, and Regina's mom is a real b-hole.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Finally, Jo is starting to do what we've been wanting her to do the whole time -- snoop around in her dad's investigation files to solve the murder. Like, I know that Police Chief Kyle Masterson is "working hard" on it, but he just isn't good at his job. Jo asks her dad if someone lied about their alibi, would he question them again. Jumping to conclusions as usual, he thinks this is about Lacey. It's not -- it's about Archie, who Kyle Masterson is not suspicious of at all. Jo tells her dad what she learned and he says he doesn't have time for this. What an asshat.
Then, Chief Masterson has his assistant/officer/whatever take his bullshit necklace theory to the judge. She even says, "It's pretty circumstantial," but he's really hot on this "two murder victims wearing the same necklace" trail and thinks it will at least get him a warrant to search the Desai house. The assistant thinks if they can get a warrant they can wrap this one up and get back to traffic violations and petty theft. They haven't even had a coroner look at the body! This goddamn show.
Denise Richards -- looking stunning as usual -- is going through her house having fond memories of ugly chairs. She remembers back to a time when she and her husband, Vikram (the one who died, but hasn't even had a funeral yet) argued about material possessions. Vikram loved that chair, Danny loved watching soccer, Denise Richards loved making the house look nice. Now Danny's on the soccer team! And Vikram is still mysteriously dead in a way that has not affected Danny or his mom in the slightest.
Lacey walks through her high school campus, looking like she walked straight out of Clueless, telling Archie about her plans to force Serita and Phoebe to be friends. Archie shares his plans to go out with "the guys" before "the big game" to "blow off some steam." Lacey, as though she just met him, says she thought he liked to stay the night before a big game to rest. Because that is his alibi. Archie says home games and away games have different rules. I hope Lacey doesn't get murdered by him... or that she does -- I'm not really that invested in her character.
Danny is looking sexier, as we have always wanted him to. Wearing his hair down is good for ratings. Danny keeps talking about how good he is at soccer, which has me crossing my fingers for a montage. Danny being on the soccer team is not just good for montages, it is also good for Jo's Junior Murder Investigation to research a motive for Archie. Jo mentions that she hates girls because they are "horrible, snarky monsters," and she only gets along with guys. So call me a horrible, snarky monster but she's one of those girls.
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