As Fashion TV announces that Mayor Bloomberg gave Posh the key to the city, Betty starts packing. Hilda tries to calm her down, but Betty says that she's sick of being the responsible one, and she never even thought she'd get a chance of real love. Honey, just get a good waxer, and you'll turn that attitude around. Betty says this might be it for her, and asks if she doesn't deserve to do something a little crazy, just once. As Betty drags her suitcase down the stairs, Fashion TV announces that after Posh rang the opening bell, the Dow soared to an all-time high. Hee! I love the little Posh bits all through the episode. Hilda reminds Betty that Ignacio's citizenship ceremony is on Saturday, and Betty lets loose with the fact that it was all thanks to her. She confesses to Hilda that she made a dirty deal with Wili to get Ignacio back in the country, and that she betrayed Daniel in the process. An angry Betty warns Hilda not to tell, saying she doesn't want Ignacio to know she did anything for him. With that, we head to commercials.
When we return, Amanda laments the fact that her fifteen minutes of fame as Fey Sommers's daughter are almost up, and she and her PR Bitch Marc have done nothing about them. They'd talked about an Amanda doll, a singing career, and rehab -- big dreams, but not yet realized. Marc says once he's through with Wili, he'll focus on her. Amanda says he'd better, or she'll twist his nipples off with a wrench. Marc asks, "Why the sudden interest in my boys?" Nipples are the new ass-flaps. As he leaves to tend to Wili, a handsome man with a Scottish brogue approaches the reception desk. Amanda notes that he talks just like someone she knows, but she can't remember who.
Cut to the very Scottish Christina, who's getting the brunt of Betty's venting about Ignacio. She catches a glimpse of Scottish brogue man and hauls Betty into Fey's Secret Love Dungeon. Ah, yes, we always knew this moment would come, didn't we? Betty is quite surprised to learn a) that there's a Secret Love Dungeon; b) that the man outside is Christina's secret Scottish husband; c) that Christina had a secret Scottish husband. The secret sex room and secret husband pretty much trump Betty's dad thing, and she knows it. Christina explains that she hasn't seen her husband Stuart for five years, ever since she told him she was going to the pet store to get dog food and just kept going. Betty can't believe that Christina had a dog, too. She notes that he did track Christina down, and asks if she isn't curious as to why. Christina blows her bangs, but literally, and not in the way she usually blows her bangs.