Ugly Betty

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A Nice Day For A Posh Wedding

When we return, Wili awakens in silk sheets and a glamorous negligee, turns to the person next to her, and says it's bad luck to see the bride on her wedding day. And then hunky bodyguard Dwayne/real-life ex-husband Rick Fox coos, "Not for the bodyguard." He asks if she'll need some protection for her honeymoon. I don't think excessive Botox preserves the ovaries, but that was considerate. Wili tells sweet horny Dwayne to beat it, because "Mama's weave can't get sweaty on her big day." You know she stole that line from Tyra. Dwayne asks if he can at least take a shower, and Wili tells him not to use the good shampoo. Then, she orders room service. She flips on Fashion TV, which is a mistake, as she hears how Posh went out on the town in her bridesmaid's gown and is totally upstaging Wili yet again. Not even the afterglow can soften Wili's glower.

Ignacio, meanwhile, is deciding whether to wear a flag tie or flag pin to his citizenship ceremony. Justin swears that if Ignacio wears the flag tie, he'll leave the country. Ignacio can't believe that Betty didn't even call on his big day. She disrespected him, and all he wanted to do is protect her. He says that Betty is selfish, and Hilda counters that he has no idea what Betty has done for him.

Cut to a post-coital Christina and Stuart in the Secret Love Dungeon. Man, do I wish I had a Secret Love Dungeon at work sometimes. But really, I'd probably mostly use it for naps. And I'd keep my secret Peanut Butter Cup stash there. It would be the perfect place, because it's not too far away, but not too convenient. Christina tells Stuart that their lovefest was a mild improvement over their past relations, given that he didn't pass out drunk midway through. Stuart says he missed Christina, and she admits to missing him a wee bit, saying that she'd forgotten about Good Stuart. He goes to the bathroom and she smells his shirt, then notices a syringe in his backpack. The role of Stuart will heretofore be played by Pete Doherty. Or Amy Winehouse, though then, everyone would get all down about how love is a losing game.

Meanwhile, Betty and Henry are awoken by her cell. It's a texted picture of Ignacio. I must note that their sleepwear is quite different from Wili and Dwayne's, though I'm sure it didn't stop the sexual healing one bit. Betty doesn't even care that Henry may have morning breath, so excited is she to have a Saturday together in Manhattan. She proposes that they go to breakfast, and then the New York Transit Museum. Henry is really excited at the prospect, but asks if Betty doesn't think she should go to her dad's citizenship ceremony. She holds firm, saying she wants to do something crazy and fun. "New York Transit Museum it is," says Henry. Those two really were meant for each other.

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Ugly Betty




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