Ugly Betty

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A Tree Grows In Guadalajara

Back in his office, Daniel is clutching his pill bottle and fidgeting with his tie. Did Nancy Reagan's cautious words and a series of afterschool specials have no effect on this man?!? His phone rings. It's Betty, calling from the plane and extolling the virtues of first class. She asks how the temp is working out, and we cut to an old lady knitting. Daniel says that he guesses Amber wasn't available, and Betty says that Amber didn't know how to type, or use a pen, and she got lost on the elevator. Actually, in the world of temps, I'd think she would come highly recommended. Daniel says that Amber was hot, and Betty counters that Ellen, the temp, was Miss Subway 1949. Ellen is a total GILF. Betty starts to ask Daniel how he is, and he asks if she knows that the call from the plane costs, like, $10 a minute. She hangs up immediately, and he takes a long look at Ellen, then takes another pill. I thought he was only supposed to take the pills when he wanted to have sex? Ellen is totally working it.

Meanwhile, Wili is looking through Tavares's line. She gives a "Yes, yes, no, burn it, burn it and bury it, ugh, ugh,,,oh." She tells Tavares that he probably thinks it's adventurous to put coconut-shell buttons on a jacket, but all he's done is murder a blazer. Marc adds, "Murderer," for good measure. Tavares says he was going for something new, and Wili tells him not to, because she doesn't want any embarrassments at his debut. She tells him to fix it by tomorrow night, and walks off. "Coconut-shell buttons? You might as well have just punched her in the stomach," snips Marc. And who knows better how sweet a punch to Wilhelmina's stomach feels than Marc? When Marc's gone, Tavares asks Amanda if that went well or not, and Amanda explains that Wili is bringing all the New York buyers to his studio the following night. He will be a Wilhelmina Slater discovery. And because Amanda hooked him up, she says that he has to make out with her in the ladies room. Tavares hushes her, and reminds her that he's a faux-mo. He tried being straight in the fashion industry, and it didn't work. Amanda says that it's so unfair. She finally has a hot boyfriend and can't even use him to make all the other sluts feel bad about themselves. He gets closer to her and says that he'll make it up to her later, but he quickly flames it up when Marc walks by. "Yeah, I'm not doing that with you," says Marc, storming off.

Back on the plane to Guadalajara, Hilda swills the free champagne and tries to collect everyone's free travel kit to use for bridesmaids' gifts. Betty offers up hers, but Hilda tells her to keep it since she's the maid of honor. Betty goes over all of Ignacio's relatives with him, then says that she hates it that there's no one on her mom's side of the chart. Ignacio says that he can't help her, since he only knew Rosa's mother. Betty asks what year her grandmother died, and Ignacio says that he doesn't know, but it was sometime after Hilda was born. Good thing, or Daniel would probably be after her spicy grandma ass, too. Betty notes that her mom never talked about her grandmother. Ignacio snaps that Betty needs to concentrate on the people they do know. He then apologizes and says that he's just nervous about going back to Mexico. He's been gone a long time, and he didn't exactly leave under the best circumstances. Hilda pops over the seat and yells, "So they don't know you killed mom's husband?" and Betty shushes her. Ignacio says that nobody knows anything except for the girls and his sister, Mierta, and he asks if they can please stop talking about this. He notes that Betty is missing an earring, and she laments that she's lost the "Dias" from her "Buenos Dias" set, adding that she knew she shouldn't have brought her good jewelry. You know, if Daniel keeps up with this GILF fetish, maybe a romance between him and Betty isn't out of the question.

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Ugly Betty




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