Back at Bradford's office, Wilhelmina pours champagne. She says that she knows bubbly is the worst thing to mix with his cholesterol medication, but she thought a celebration was in order. See, she's totally trying to kill him! And the ink isn't even dry on the divorce papers! Wait, strike that. The ink isn't on the papers at all, because Bradford didn't sign them. "Are you forgetting she hired thugs to beat me?" asks Wili. This would be a really effective line if it were true. Wili grabs at her neck and says that the doctors told her she'd have to learn to live with her injury. I guess if she has Bradford fooled into thinking she likes having sex with him, convincing him of this stuff is really nothing. Bradford says that he's been married to Claire for so long, and how can he just start his life over? When he met Claire, he was Brad Meade. A porn star? Well, maybe. He was young, ambitious, and felt like he could do anything. Wili tells him that he can, and that he just needs to get out in the world again. She will facilitate the process by taking him to Tavares's opening. Bradford seems doubtful, but Wili says that he needs to shake things up -- buy a new car, get a new look. She can help him find Brad again. I don't know; I think Brad is happy being lost.
And then, we are in Guadalajara! Betty figures out which relative is which, and when she misidentifies one, she tries to say she's embarrassed but ends up telling them that she's pregnant. Meanwhile, Hilda talks to Vanessa from Six Feet Under, who is known to the Suarez family as Clara, about wedding stuff. Hilda asks for reassurance that there's enough time, and Vanessa/Clara tells her that in fact, there is not enough time, and she'll end up with nothing. And be married to a little mortician who let a stripper blow him. Life, man.
Meanwhile, Ignacio is talking to special guest star number two, Rita Moreno! She knows a boat you can get on. She is also teary, because she hasn't seen her little brother in thirty years. They joke about how old they are, and then Rita Moreno asks Ignacio if he's met her daughter-in-law, Clara. She whispers that Clara can't have a baby because of a cyst on one of her ovaries. That is just the kind of mother-in-law you want, you know? She grabs another glass of wine, and Ignacio tells her to watch it, because she has a tendency to talk when she drinks. Rita Moreno/Mierta tells him not to worry, and that she's never told anyone his secrets. At least that she remembers.