Ugly Betty
Bad Amanda

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
"No Crimes, Real Peeps, Saddle Up"

Christina says more shit about the Earnshaws of the Grange and Betty bitches and moans about how her life is not worth living and how it just makes things that much worse when you do nothing to change your own circumstances. Christina talks about how she came to New York without two dimes to rub together, which is what Scotsmen do for fun, but she figured out other stuff to do, and it usually didn't cost her a cent. This is because -- as we know and will see again this week -- Christina's past is basically being a prostitute. But then, so's Betty: she marches that idea straight to the ModeNY pitch meeting -- after of course jacking some Betty bullshit up all over it so that it stops being a good or relevant idea and starts being something even Rachel Maddow would find dorky.

"As we all know, living in Manhattan can be expensive." Wili arches: "Really? I hadn't noticed." Daniel tells her not to be snotty, and she's like, "What? I honestly never noticed!" Which is pretty awesome. Betty continues: "A Day In Manhattan On Zero Dollars." I love how she came to this meeting with one idea. Just the one. Just one really great piece of content that will hover on the RSS feed for about three days. WTG UB LOL. "Most museums have one day a week where you can go for free, but the National American Indian Museum is free every day!" (This is where everybody in the room remembers that Betty kind of sucks, and wonders to themselves why they always forget this fact every episode and actually try to kick the football every episode and Betty always jerks it away at the last second but they keep thinking she's going to get cool and she never ever is going to get cool so really who is the fucker and who is the fuckee in this context?) "Its culturally sensitive and thought-provoking exhibits include pottery, basketry..." Amanda snores at her violently, and Betty smacks her, and they talk about how it sucks -- even Daniel's like, "it's a little dry, Betty" -- and she starts in with feeding the squirrels in Madison Square Park, and Marc makes fun of her, getting laughs he doesn't deserve. "Okay, well. Maybe Marc and Amanda have better ideas." Really, Betty? Better than the thought-provoking basketry?

Amanda immediately comes up with a thousand shameless Amanda-type things to do off the top of her head, because she's a cockroach of celebrity and a total hero: crashing a Tom Cruise premiere ("He is super short! But the food at the afterparty was beyond!") and Betty tries to whine that "the average Mode reader can't do that, and Amanda fully goes, "You would be surprised what you can get away with!" ♥. The editors and execs of the round table love this, and want to hear more. "Like I haven't paid for a drink or a meal in years. I have a bar tab of like, ten grand...." Connor and Wili are all over it, and Wili names the article How I Blew Ten Grand Without Actually Spending A Dime and Daniel congratulates Betty and Amanda on their first sale. "Ow!" Amanda cat-squeals. "My first sale at Mode! That was easy." Instead of seeing that Amanda has powerful Zen magics on her side and sometimes you have to cop a ride on the Serena Lazy River and just Be, of course, Betty decides to do some more limp whining to people who don't care.

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Ugly Betty




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