Ugly Betty

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Bananas For Betty

Previously on Ugly Betty: Bradford died and Wilhelmina was up to something especially nefarious with his corpse. She also stole a hefty number of Mode staffers to help launch her own mag, which she titled Slater instead of Devil's Spawn. Betty met Gio the sandwich guy, but despite a spark or two, she decided to forgo his pastrami in favor of five months with Henry, he of accounting and knocking-up-another-woman fame.

We enter on the Meade siblings, preparing to watch a video that Bradford left for them a few weeks before he died. In it, he announces that he was sick, so death was more or less imminent. Bradford apparently did not leave word of whom he chose to run Meade Publications in his will, and this is because he wanted to explain his choice. He pauses to see if the camera is on, before saying that to run a company like Meade, you have to have confidence, be able to smell blood in the water, and possess a killer instinct. So after long consideration, he chooses...Betty? Well, not really, but she totally interrupts his speech from the dead to deliver him something from Daniel, and knocks the camera over in the process. If you were videotaping an addendum to your last will and testament, wouldn't you lock the door?

Betty leaves, and Bradford continues that he hopes they'll both understand when he tells them that he chooses his d... Yes, his d... That's as far as we get, because Bradford fiddles with the camera to see if it's on, and actually turns it off in the process. Did he not watch this thing after he filmed it? Perhaps he started, but was too freaked out by his eerie similarity to Max Headroom to continue. Daniel and Alexis can't believe it, and instantly start bickering over which "d" Bradford was about to decree leadership to. Alexis thinks it's clear that he was going to say "my daughter," while Daniel argues that Bradford called him "my Daniel" all the time. Okay, this one totally goes to Alexis. I mean, chalk flew up. They decide to talk to Claire about it the next morning, and agree that until then, no one sits behind Bradford's desk. It's good to see they've completed their grieving in such a timely manner.

Cut to Betty and Daniel stealing -- or guarding, as Daniel calls it -- Bradford's chair. Daniel thinks he can run Meade as well as Alexis. These skills are put to the test when Alexis catches them with the chair and plops herself down in it. Daniel tries to squeeze himself in there too but can't do it, and asks if Alexis had super strength installed along with her vagina. I bet it was a bonus, like when you get the little sample of pomade shrink-wrapped to the bottle of shampoo at Target. Betty tells them that everyone is watching, and says she'll guard the chair until they've worked it out with Claire. They leave, and Henry tells Betty to wear socks to their date tomorrow night, because they're going to get knocked off. He exits, and Betty coos to Christina how sweet he is, and says that every Saturday, they make an ice cream sundae bar and watch old movies. I think I'm getting old and nerdy, because that sounds awesome to me. Well, if you throw in a bottle of wine and the movie is always interrupted by all the sex you're having. Christina asks Betty if she and Henry would be up for joining her and her possibly ne'er-do-well formerly abandoned husband Stuart to the premiere of 27 Dresses. Betty really wants to see this movie, and Christina wants to eat James Marsden for dessert, and is that enough plugging for now? Betty is tempted, but says that she and Henry are trying to do things as a duo since he's leaving in seventeen weeks and four days. Or, she realizes, five days -- go, leap year!

We then move to Wilhelmina berating her new staff about the mock-up cover of Slater. Turns out they were supposed to make her look five years younger than she says she is, and she commands them to work through lunch. They give steely stares in response, and Marc explains that no one minds being abused, it's just that the staff thought they were being paid to be abused. Wili says that in her day, they worked hard and were lucky if they got a cheese sandwich and a cup of bad coffee. Or, tens of thousands of dollars of plastic surgery. Right, Ugly Wili? Marc reminds her that she was a senator's daughter and went to boarding school in Paris. But no matter, Wili announces that she's meeting with their investors and is certain they'll have their funding.

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Ugly Betty




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