The lawyer explains that, thanks to the little blank double carriage return and/or web page between this sentence and the last one, the DA has bumped Alexis's "horrific" crime to attempted murder, no bail. Claire gets wild, of course, and says they won't be going to trial: "I am not putting my daughter's future in the hands of people too stupid or lazy to get out of jury duty," goes the old refrain, but Alexis is so tired due to being a mother and a father at the same time, and just wants to go home to all 6'2" of Jerry O'Connell's hot ass and have a billion kids for a second, so maybe she should just go to jail for the terrible, nonsensical thing she did. The lawyer agrees, because he knows a losing proposition when he sees it, but Claire remains unconvinced. Between Alexis's innate goodness, the handsome Meade contributions to the DA's election funds, and her own insane force of will, "Mommy will make this all better." I love Claire, but it gives me something like a hot flash of terror when she says shit like that, because the only thing more powerful than love is the psychotic break.
Claire calls the DA, and while he's clearly in straits of some kind, he takes time to point out that her calling him while he's prosecuting her daughter is really inappropriate. Claire wants Alexis picking up trash on the West Side Highway like he promised, but sadly, the DA is a political figure who can't be seen as soft on people who toss pregnant women down stairs, no matter how pointless those women are, how horrific the horrors their wombs contain, or how much money the accused commands. There cannot be a different standard of justice for the rich, he says, with a fucking straight face. That alone makes me want to tie him up and beat him, but as we'll see that's been proficiently covered.
Claire points out that the different standard of justice for the rich was (always) on the table when she gave him obscene amounts of election money, but hey: his hands are tied. By Wilhelmina Slater, wearing a basque and some kind of jungle gear, who has him strapped to the bed and reaches out to click off his bluetooth with her riding crop. Hot. She threatens to "hold him in contempt" if there are further interruptions, and she shoves that thing in his face so ruthlessly that he comes before it even touches him. But if you'll pardon my ignorance, I always thought the stereotype was that you get to do the thing you don't always do, in these scenarios, like the powerful on-top dude gets peed on or tied up or naughty and punished or whatever the opposite thing is, but like, if Wili spends her playtime being a dominatrix, doesn't that mean either A) we still don't know all the things Wili fits into her day, or B) all day every day is one long S&M trip for her? Because the latter possibility is amazing.