Ugly Betty

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 978 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Betty Bobs Her Hair

I always think of Betty as kind of like that little girl from Tiny Toons that wants to smother all of the animals and stuffed animals in the universe and sleep in a big bed with them, but actually if you think of Amanda that way it's like a billion times more terrifying. Short montage of Amanda pulling Halston's head out of Betty's lunch, then handing it over apologetically with Halston saliva all over it, and cut to Betty waking up with Amanda hovering over her with the cutest grey furry sleep mask, causing her to scream and then shoving her over and climbing in bed with her because she can't sleep. "Sometimes it helps if you tickle my back and tell me I'm pretty," she explains, and then presents her back to Betty for tickling. Man, Betty, if you don't think this the best thing that's ever happened to you, I feel like I don't even know you anymore. I realize Amanda's a bitch and dangerously insane, but she has the makings of a good citizen. I can sense it.

"You tickled her back? Weird," says Christina, or something. I don't really understand her when she talks. I don't speak Useless. Although she does get an awesome joke in about how she can identify with doing things you don't really want to do so you can get some sleep already, so I'm giving Christina a pass for this week. The whole conversation takes place in circles around this model Christina's pinning, which is somehow really funny too. Christina changes the subject to urge Betty to make an asshole of herself w/r/t taking her crush to the next level, so Amanda appears out of nowhere shouting about how she knew Betty had a crush going on, and she knows it's somebody in the building because Betty's "always darting in and out all sweaty and mysterious," and Betty tells her to back off. One of the coolest things about this episode is how Amanda spends the entire time trying to figure out Betty's crush but Betty's so into telling her to fuck off that she creates a horrible perfect storm disaster.

Betty notices that Amanda's adorable one-piece sheath dress is actually made from her leggings, and Amanda's like, "I know, cute, right? And the other leg makes a matching scarf!" Christina approves, getting a big eye from Betty, and Betty runs away. Amanda follows them, all about "I know who your lover is!" Her next guess is "that troll in 3G" who walks his guinea pig on a leash: "When are you two crazy kids going out?" Betty still hasn't noticed that Amanda has now chosen her, so she blows it off again and says the guy doesn't even for sure like her, and Amanda's like, "Invite him to the Mode party!" Christina agrees, because if Betty's luck holds and she's just living in crazytown, it won't be awkward or cause him to break her heart because it won't even really be a date, and Amanda points out that it will also give him the option, should he turn out a serial killer, to find someone else to cut into pieces. "YA WELCOME!" she says, and bounces. Betty and Christina agree that this is the perfect low-risk way to take things to the next level.

Ugly Betty

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