Ugly Betty

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Betty Bobs Her Hair

Daniel admires his feet in those cute Manolos he bought to take his mind off Connor Owen, and he's like, "Sometimes people try and try to get you on the telephone, and they say the number doesn't answer. I'm not just saying that to help myself; that really happens. You know that really happens, God. Oh, God, keep me away from that telephone. Kcep me away. Let me still have just a little bit of pride. I think I'm going to need it, God. I think it will be all I'll have. Oh, what does pride matter, when I can't stand it if I don't talk to him? Pride like that is such a silly, shabby little thing. The real pride, the big pride, is in having no pride. I'm not saying that just because I want to call him. I am not. That's true, I know that's true. I will be big. I will be beyond little prides." And then he gets a message from Connor, and the sun comes out again. Claire's just pissed that she had to listen to Scarlett Johanssen babble about climate change and Connor didn't, but before Daniel can get the info from his voicemail, Fashion Buzz tells them that Meade's selling off some titles per the orders of their new CFO, who met with Condé Nast for hours earlier. Daniel wigs out and as usual Claire's like, "Sorry everything you touch turns to shit, but only a little because I love your sister more."

Betty runs downstairs to comfort Jesse and her feet don't touch a step until she's standing there shaking like a Chihuahua in front of him and trying to hug him to death with her mind. He's like, "Oh, I forgot I'm a total poseur! My bad." She explains that he's awesome, and this is just stage fright, and that he's not a faker, he's totally awesome even if he can't feel it right this second, she can see it in there, and it's the bad thoughts that are fake, so he needs to get it together because once he's onstage he will remember that he is awesome, and everybody else will see what she sees. Which is a good speech, but even better because it works the principle of musicians to the utmost, which is that as long as you told them somebody would clap for them, they would climb over any amount of broken glass and stage fright, because all art is ego. Jesse is like totally sweet and grateful, and they breathe -- Betty gives a little "woo!" -- and he tells her she's so beautiful, and takes off upstairs.

And because she wasn't around for the beautiful nachos he had for breakfast -- or the beautiful episode of Tyra he watched when he woke up, or the beautiful vegetarian samosas some other beautiful girl just like Betty brought him earlier that beautiful evening, or the beautiful Japanese kicks he customized and bought online an hour ago, or the beautiful and courageous mullet of the girl at the copy shop yesterday when he was printing out the beautiful liner notes of his self-produced album -- this causes her to go completely retarded.

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Ugly Betty




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