Ugly Betty

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Betty Bobs Her Hair

Betty's apartment has been redecorated in Urban Hobag, with pictures of Amanda and Halston and Marc cluttering each and every surface, including one with Marc in that insanely hot footman's outfit from last week, and in the middle is the hobag inspiration, Amanda, flouncing around madly in garters and fruity bra and panties. Amanda's so great because you always wonder, "What was happening right before we walked in?" She points at Betty's PJs, which are fruity in a different way and frumpy in a Betty way, and screams! "OMG WE TOTALLY MATCH!" She runs to Betty screaming about how they are going to have so much fun and then hugs her so hard she picks her up off the floor. Up. Off. The floor.

I always think of Betty as kind of like that little girl from Tiny Toons that wants to smother all of the animals and stuffed animals in the universe and sleep in a big bed with them, but actually if you think of Amanda that way it's like a billion times more terrifying. Short montage of Amanda pulling Halston's head out of Betty's lunch, then handing it over apologetically with Halston saliva all over it, and cut to Betty waking up with Amanda hovering over her with the cutest grey furry sleep mask, causing her to scream and then shoving her over and climbing in bed with her because she can't sleep. "Sometimes it helps if you tickle my back and tell me I'm pretty," she explains, and then presents her back to Betty for tickling. Man, Betty, if you don't think this the best thing that's ever happened to you, I feel like I don't even know you anymore. I realize Amanda's a bitch and dangerously insane, but she has the makings of a good citizen. I can sense it.

"You tickled her back? Weird," says Christina, or something. I don't really understand her when she talks. I don't speak Useless. Although she does get an awesome joke in about how she can identify with doing things you don't really want to do so you can get some sleep already, so I'm giving Christina a pass for this week. The whole conversation takes place in circles around this model Christina's pinning, which is somehow really funny too. Christina changes the subject to urge Betty to make an asshole of herself w/r/t taking her crush to the next level, so Amanda appears out of nowhere shouting about how she knew Betty had a crush going on, and she knows it's somebody in the building because Betty's "always darting in and out all sweaty and mysterious," and Betty tells her to back off. One of the coolest things about this episode is how Amanda spends the entire time trying to figure out Betty's crush but Betty's so into telling her to fuck off that she creates a horrible perfect storm disaster.

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Ugly Betty

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