Ugly Betty

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Don't Ask, Don't Tell
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on Ugly Betty: Mark's first impression of Betty was that she was a monster. Psycho INS worker Constance put Ignacio under house arrest via an ankle collar. Henry and Betty went from being "faux-friends who really want to do it with each other despite the presence of a mousy girlfriend from Arizona" to "two people who work in the same building." Claire wanted her family to come together, while Alexis told Daniel that Bradford said he would rather see her dead than as a woman. And, finally, Claire turned herself in for the murder of Fey Sommers. Are these people not exhausted?

We enter on a news standup outside of Meade Publications. It turns out that Bradford is expected to return to work after being released from prison. And, I mean...take a day off! You were just in jail, man. Go to the beach, or at least sleep in and then enjoy a bowl of Special K and a nice, entertaining episode of The View. It's called a "mental health day." In any case, all charges against Bradford were dropped after Claire turned herself in. The reporter says that he's going to get reactions from some of Meade's employees. He tries to get Betty, who rushes past him and straight into the bus stop shelter like a bird into a sliding glass door. Heh.

Cut to Justin, who is rewinding this scene over and over and laughing. Betty has to yell at Hilda -- who is snickering despite the fact that she's doing the hair of a giant Barbie head on top of the kitchen table -- so that she will yell at Justin. Justin apologizes, but says it gets funnier every time. That is so true. When I was in high school, we did Peter Pan for the musical my senior year, and Peter herself flew right into the scenery on the side of the stage. And all of it was caught on tape! It was awesome, and rewinding it and watching it over and over has become a staple of drunken get-togethers ever since. There's something about the particular magic of seeing it backward and forward that gets me every time. Hilda yells at Justin to go get ready for school, and he literally flits off. I didn't know that was actually possible. Hilda asks Betty how she's doing. Betty says that, since Claire's arrest, she's felt guilty. She says that she was the one who talked Claire into turning herself in. Hilda says that this isn't true, and that Claire did what she felt she had to do. As for the rest of the Meade family: Daniel and Alexis aren't speaking, Alexis and Bradford aren't speaking, and Claire is in the hospital detoxing before she can be arraigned. Hilda says that this should make Betty appreciate being part of a nice normal family. Just then, an alarm sounds. Hilda yells, "Papi! What part of 'house arrest' don't you understand?" Ignacio says that he just went out two feet to get the paper. Constance wouldn't even give him the stoop? That's cruel, man. Speaking of Constance, she calls. Ignacio tells her that he just stepped outside and that he's back in now, and she turns off the alarm. I feel like the National Association of INS Agents should make a big stink about their portrayal as horny, power-abusing nutbags. Betty says that it's only four weeks until Ignacio's hearing, but Ignacio says that he's already going stir-crazy. He misses the feel of rain and the smell of freshly mowed grass. Hilda reminds him that they live in Jackson Heights, where the grass smells like fried onions. Add wind that blows with the aroma of barbecue sauce and you've just sold me some real estate.

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Ugly Betty




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