Meanwhile, Betty is at Dr. Farkas's, getting the cavity filled. Diane, to whom Betty has obviously told the whole, sad story of her life, says that she thinks Henry was trapped, adding, "You know she poked a hole in that condom!" She offers Betty some nitrous, but Betty says she wants to feel the pain. Diane says that she hates this mystery girl who ruined Betty's life, and asks for her name, so she can hate her with a name. Betty tells her that it's Charlie. Diane says that's funny, because Dr. Farkas has been dating someone named Charlie for about two months. Betty says it can't be the same person, because Charlie's been with Henry. Diane says that Dr. Farkas's Charlie is a cute redhead. Who makes jewelry. Diane shows Betty a hideous bracelet, and Betty knows: it's the same Charlie! No way! And also: cheap, once again. Betty says that she took Dr. Farkas to Charlie's birthday party, and actually introduced them. Diane says that Charlie is a cheater, which makes a really cheap plotline. I mean, seriously. Charlie seemed so nice! It made things way more complex and interesting when she wasn't such a scheming whore. In any case, Betty, who is doubtlessly having heart palpitations, realizes something potentially life-changing: seven months from now, Charlie could actually be giving birth to little Marcus Farkas. In other words, the baby might not be Henry's. Commercials.
When we return, Betty has just left a message on Henry's cell saying that she really needs to talk to him. Diane enters and expresses disbelief. Would Reese Witherspoon leave a message on a cell? Would Drew Barrymore? Betty says that she doesn't think either Reese or Drew would be calling Henry. But if they did, divorce or no, that Phillippe character would be jealous as a magpie, and with good reason. Diane says that they're not calling, because they're already halfway to the airport to stop that plane and declare their love for their man! Yeah! She tells Betty that this is her movie, and her chance to get the happy ending she's always wanted. And not the kind you get at the twenty-four-hour "massage parlor" on North Main Street. It's the Drew Barrymore kind. She tells Betty to go home and put on a totally cute top and run a brush through her hair, or, maybe try a hat. Isn't that wasting precious minutes? Go directly to the airport! Oh, but wait. Then she wouldn't be able to partake in the more tragic of the tragedies. Betty rushes out, then comes back, saying that she has Justin's show, and she doesn't know the flight number, and what about security? Diane invokes the words that have spurred out countless generation of women -- Drew Barrymore! And Betty is off again.