Cut to the prison yard, where Claire in blue jumpsuit couture calls Wili a homewrecking slut, and says that she knows Wili got Bradford to send over the divorce papers. Yoga tells her to shut up and stack another set of quarters. And by that, she means weights. Yoga is something of an imposing figure. Claire politely asks if Yoga doesn't want to retain just a dash of femininity. Yoga gives her a glare and Claire responds, "Buff and beautiful." Heh. It is a love story for the ages. A perhaps even more imposing bald woman stands by them, and Claire whispers to Yoga that Yoga said she would help her. Bradford won't see her or take her calls, but if she could just get to him, she knows she could save her marriage. Yoga tells her to relax, and says that it's all going down when they're transferred upstate tomorrow. There will be four people in the van -- Claire, Yoga, the bald woman, whose name is actually Chartreuse, and Sugar Free Shirley, the diabetic. Yoga says that Sugar Free is going to be the key to their plan. And what a haggard, freaky key it is.
Meanwhile, Alexis is on the phone in her office, asking the thug she paid to off Bradford when he's going to take care of things. She says that the waiting is freaking her out. Also freaking her out might be the fact that she paid a dude to kill her father. Just a theory. The thug says that it will happen when it happens, the less she knows the better, and she'd better not be stupid enough to call him again. That's the thing about thugs -- they have no manners. Betty comes in asking if Alexis heard the news, and Alexis immediately asks if something happened to her father. But, in fact, Betty is talking about how "Daniel" "saved" "a" "Girl Scout." Alexis, of course, being smarter than Daniel, realizes that it's all bull. Betty says that she knows things have been rough between Alexis and Daniel, but deep down, Daniel is a really good guy. Alexis wryly says that sometimes she does forget that, and suggests that they hold a press conference to celebrate his heroic efforts. Betty says that she's on it and Alexis smiles. It should be noted that her shirt approximates the color of Daniel's tie. See, they're not so different after all!
Cut to Amanda slinking through the closet Mission Impossible-style. She works her way over to the hook that reveals The Secret Love Dungeon, then enters and caws for Marc. I must say that The Secret Love Dungeon is HUGE, and quite impressive. He asks what took so long, and she says she had to wait for Christina to go to the bathroom. She adds that Christina retains water like a two-humped camel. See, veteran drinkers know that you don't break the seal. Marc says that speaking of humps, he's figured out what Fey used the secret room for, and shows Amanda some bondage gear set up on a mannequin. They both throw up a little at the thought of Fey and Bradford utilizing this gear, and Marc says, "Now every time I look at the old man I'm going to picture him trussed up like a Christmas goose with a ball gag in his mouth." Thank goodness I don't eat goose. Marc and Amanda agree not to tell anyone about TSLD, except for the occasional delivery guy they can lure in there to open up his packages. Tee! Amanda calls Marc a bad boy and whips him in the butt. He asks for it again and again, until she says, "Okay, this is getting creepy, even for us."